Chocolate explosion

Went to my first Knick game of the season last night. Unbelievable seats right behind the Knick bench-- I could practically strangle Isiah Thomas from where we were sitting. I didn't really get a chance, as Thomas was thrown out of the game for arguing with officials. I think he just wanted to get the hell out of there.

The Knicks opened the game with a 10-0 run against the Celtics. That didn't last long. Wally Sczrerzxbiiyak was scoring at will on Channing Frye, who looked like he had lead in his Keds. Paul Pierce did his usual combination of whining and dining on the court (39 pts), and the Celts won by 4. In all, not a terrible showing by the Knicks.

Lets get to the fun stuff:The Knicks City Dancers were mysteriously absent for the first half hour or so, including the game intro. Probably because somebody stole their entire wardrobe set. They finally pranced out onto the court in hideous-looking pale orange felt skirts, looking like extras from a middle school production of Peter Pan. I heard at least three different people say they looked like "fucking pumpkins."

We were also treated to the rhythms of the New York Sticks, a bunch of kids from some local music program. I liked it better when they just let that kid with the plastic bucket play for 10 minutes.

Things reached a cultural and creative high point with the halftime show of the
"Acko Airs" (?). A loosely-knit troupe of acrobats and gymnasts, the Airs were supposedly united by some sort of anti-drug message. Unfortunately, their performance was absolutely impossible to understand unless you were on some sorts of drugs, which I was. Truthfully, at that point I was simply relieved that I wasn't chosen for the halftime lay-up contest...

After the game we staggered over to 8th & 34th (about 200 feet away) for a raucous midnight showing of Borat, which was absolutely hilarious. Somebody shit diarrhea all over the men's room after the film, which led one group of drunk patrons to speculate that "it looks like Borat was in here..."

Losing Isiah

Haven't written in a while because... the Knicks stink. Really stink.

I tried to make a fun thing out of Isiah not really caring about defense, but now we see he doesn't really care much about rebounding of any kind either. If all he cares about is offense, he's got the wrong bunch of guys-- they can't shoot to save their lives.

Zeke is proving to be a great quote machine, however:"I have zero favorites. I'll bench anyone."Yeah, I think we all have "zero favorites" on this crappy team (and as if benching a guy who sucks and everybody hates is somehow a ballsy thing to do)!

My favorite Knick? Clyde. Hands down.

Tiny Beers

Kudos to Michael Heaton for taking me to see Stuart A. Staples (Tindersticks) at St. Ann's last night. Great show. So what if the drummer totally stole my look...

Knicks win!

Last night's NY/Memphis game was just like an ugly breakup: it was painful, it went on for way too long, communication was poor, nobody took charge, and everybody involved should be ashamed of themselves. Nobody could shoot to save their life either.

The Knicks do seem to make their free throws, though. The Grizz were shooting from the line like they spent the afternoon drinking sizzurp with 8-Ball and MJG. Let's hope games against Houston, New Orleans, Atlanta and Charlotte include similar collaborations with dat purple drank...

Isiah really seems lost. How about these quotes:

"It's never pretty on the road. It's always ugly..."
"I knew there would be a point in the game we'd come unglued..."

Maybe he's onto something.

prime time

Space Needle made a rather strange appearance on "Veronica Mars" this past Tuesday night. Of course I didn't see it-- something about a guy on a phone with "Never Lonely Alone" playing in the background for a nice little chunk of time. Final scene of the episode.

Next I think the Sopranos should use Anders Parker's "Doornail" while somebody's getting the shit kicked out of them.

the honeymoon's over...

Got a VERY drunk call tonight from one of my Met friends (we'll call him "M"). He was in pretty bad shape. I think he was trying to get me to say something bad about the Mets so he could fire right back at the Yanks, but I didn't really have much to say. M was screaming and hollering about the bullpen and guts and gameplans, and all I could think about was my eye doctor appointment tomorrow.
That's when I realized something: I wasn't really that upset this time around. Here's a chronicle of our most recent flops:

2001 WS Game 7: I threw 3 CD's across the room (breaking them), and slept through the night fully clothed with the lights on in a fetal position. Then I went to school the next morning and yelled at 8th graders.

2002 DS Game 4: After earlier storming out of a bar in Tribeca on date with new girlfriend, we decided to watch the game at home with some friends. Metallica was playing so loud that things were falling off the speakers and breaking. Then went to party in Tribeca and embarrassed many people.

2003 WS Game 6: Stumbled out of Stan's and took D train home. Didn't cause any trouble at all. Yelled at a few 8th graders that Monday.

2004 CS Game 7: Took 4 codeines and 2 Ambiens. Made a slurred promise to watch "a lot less sports for a few months," which I immediately broke by watching 10 straight Knick games.

2005 DS Game 5: Listened to Who's Next in its entirety and went to bed.

2006 DS Game 4: Ate a cold steak from Huntington Outback. My dad called and complained to Outback delivery because they lost his lobster tail.

You see, each year has gotten a little easier. Or maybe a little less important. Or less fun.

whew

...and all is well again. if only wagner could have been the guy to blow it (again).

AIRLINE

Just now appreciating the fantastic show Airline on A&E. Way to go Southwest!

JUDGMENT DAY

GUILTY:
Joe Torre
Alex Rodriguez
Randy Johnson
Jaret Wright
Gary Sheffield
Carl Pavano
Mike Mussina
Kyle Farnsworth
Cory Lidle
Octavio Dotel
Craig Wilson

INNOCENT:
Derek Jeter
Chien-Ming Wang
Jorge Posada
Robinson Cano
Bobby Abreu
Bernie Williams
Melky Cabrera
Scott Proctor
Mariano Rivera
Brian Bruney

IRRELEVANT:
Johnny Damon
Hideki Matsui
Sal Fasano
Ron Villone
Miguel Cairo
Andy Phillips
George Steinbrenner
Brian Cashman
3 for $10 beers at pizza joint

fox rocks!

did everybody see the insane audioslave montage at the beginning of fox's yankee pre-game tonight? what the hell was that?! martin luther king jr... wendy o williams... was that a klansman at one point?!

i look to fox for safe, conservative, boring baseball coverage-- not for fucking altamont!