tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38958209708778721842024-03-14T04:34:18.597-04:00Lee's SteezRamblings on life, liberty, and the pursuit of drunkenness...Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger351125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-55144377982167842832014-02-21T09:11:00.001-05:002014-02-21T09:12:12.992-05:00Ladies Figure Skating<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY-uSgV4CrREcp7jxVzFx9U2ukKDt44zf3VHoO3a7IjL413Wge6-fLLf8NLZLso4l77NenPZ02on7eOrUMCZS1qCo0T2gloJNXPne0dCdhz4d6jGUsPEq_WbXEFNt-7z_YEcrbo_C5qRlp/s1600/Kim_2009_TEB_SP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY-uSgV4CrREcp7jxVzFx9U2ukKDt44zf3VHoO3a7IjL413Wge6-fLLf8NLZLso4l77NenPZ02on7eOrUMCZS1qCo0T2gloJNXPne0dCdhz4d6jGUsPEq_WbXEFNt-7z_YEcrbo_C5qRlp/s1600/Kim_2009_TEB_SP.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Home cookin's a B...</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is no way to live. I can't go on Twitter anymore, I haven't dared to open my New York Times app for almost two weeks, and I threw a perfectly good microwave dinner in the garbage today. Who am I??!!!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh well. Given that you've probably already watched it and know exactly what happened, here's my coverage of the end of the last round of <a href="http://leemazzola.blogspot.com/2014/02/ladies-figure-skating.html" target="_blank">Ladies Figure Skating</a>, which I won't publish until tomorrow. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The personal tidbits supplied by the commentators sound like little cards filled out by the skaters while they wait their turn: "Adelina's favorite drink is orange juice, and she liked the first <i>Hunger Games</i> movie."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Whoops, Polina Edmunds just took a dump right on her can (that's skatingspeak for "she fell down"). See you in four years, toots.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh boy, Yulia's skating to "Schindler's List" again. Maybe she's just a huge Liam Neeson fan, in which case I'd suggest "Darkman Returns (Theme)" or the music from the closing credits of <i>Taken</i>. She fell twice, so she's definitely out. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Carolina Kostner did a great job, despite her awful choice of music. Did she rip the score from <i>Mothra</i> right off of YouTube? She didn't fall, which puts her in first place by default. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Next up is Adelina Sotnikova. At least she looks like she's having fun and kinda doesn't give a shit! Jeez now she's crying out on the ice... No, she's in first!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hate this McDonalds commercial where they're biting their gold medals and then they're just biting their McNuggets. Maybe I'll unmute it next time so I can understand it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here come the heavy hitters. Gracie Gold is my favorite American skater. It worries me that she's been skating around in circles for at least a minute without a single jump. Here she goes... BOOM right on her ass. Not so good. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyone else want to see them bring back the compulsory figures? You know, when the skaters had to skate perfect figure eights for like thirty minutes, after which a team of scientists measured and graded their etched designs? Could be cool in HD!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Okay, here's the top dog: Yuna Kim. I watched her the other day and she was absolutely perfect. So far so good... Yep, another Wu Banga for Yuna. She's gotta win. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Whoa, the second Russian won. I can't tell if Yuna Kim is crying or blowing her nose. Either way, she was robbed. </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-61260206352217272092014-02-12T14:25:00.001-05:002014-02-12T14:25:42.953-05:00Biathlon: Women's Pursuit<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnBC1qAHwomcMHSf0VEg5o8F53tbU5abZDgS_5ZHYmJUqMvuYx7OptlAyl9hwSos1CLARqmAr6ugvtE2VXNsVaVCSYc1mpq1qKT6Gua_5A32H5bega4qd5ITQuRga4nkHVtiQMr3at1NoW/s1600/biathlon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnBC1qAHwomcMHSf0VEg5o8F53tbU5abZDgS_5ZHYmJUqMvuYx7OptlAyl9hwSos1CLARqmAr6ugvtE2VXNsVaVCSYc1mpq1qKT6Gua_5A32H5bega4qd5ITQuRga4nkHVtiQMr3at1NoW/s1600/biathlon.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Girls with guns.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Just took a late night Ambien and turned on the O-Limpics. Immediately I watched a German speed skater disqualified for two false starts. She trains for years and doesn't even get to skate. Sucks to be an O-limpian. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was hoping to catch something called the Biathlon Women's Pursuit tonight. That's really what it's called! Sounds like me for the two years following my divorce, except I never had skis or a gun. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Biathlon just came on! Whoa, she just whipped a rifle off her back and started firing. Now there's at least fifteen women in spandex on skis lined up firing guns. I guess the "pursuit" is when they're all chasing after the one in front in the green tights? This is a bit nuts. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's a hectic scene. Why are they holding this event at night? No, I know it's not one am in Russia right now but it's actually dark where they are. Or this taped from nine hours ago?? They're all absolutely exhausted and lurching around on their skis with rifles on their backs. Looks like the green one from Belarus won, although right now she's curled up in a fetal position in the snow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Apparently this race/hunt was 10K long. I've run my share of 10Ks and there's no way I could have stopped right in the middle and fired with any accuracy at a target. However I did once projectile vomit all over a race volunteer at the finish line. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I witnessed history twice today. This afternoon I proudly announced, "Kids, we're going to watch the Olympics." As an image of women with brooms crouching on the ice materialized on the screen, I proudly announced "Kids, this is curling." Hey, it's the USA team! Unfortunately we were getting our pots clocked by the Brits. My entire family watched our national curlers give up seven points in a single end, which is kind of like allowing 25 runs in an inning. I screamed for mercy as my terrified children shuffled Legos around on the floor. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Redemption arrived later when Erin Hamlin won the first ever US medal of any kind in any singles luge event. It was just a bronze, but she clearly had no chance against the Teutonic duo of Natalie Geisenberger and Tatjana Hüfner, luge's version of McGwire and Canseco. Let's hope it's not another 50 years before our men get something. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They're back to speed skating again. This Zhang Hong has something going on. She races like a crazy red spider on the ice, then rips off her cap at the finish to reveal a strangely alluring face. I guess the cap wasn't covering her face, so maybe it's alluring hair she possesses. Is that even her name? My google search brought me a third century Han Dynasty warlord. I think it's time for bbed. </span></div>
Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-2838236441924751832014-02-10T17:42:00.002-05:002014-02-10T17:44:04.882-05:00Team Figure Skating<div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnVqLbveqwIbKCto0_NXuLy6Hv6YpeTHcoUWuePuNL1H0UGVtTPCQii07OrCvYVhQKfGYH9TE1a1j7NOieiqkZOq-1keTBFscpVnlteYeHonQ8jyz91aFdj6wmR_0i8MH7zwR-x8Hy7YVh/s1600/tessa.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnVqLbveqwIbKCto0_NXuLy6Hv6YpeTHcoUWuePuNL1H0UGVtTPCQii07OrCvYVhQKfGYH9TE1a1j7NOieiqkZOq-1keTBFscpVnlteYeHonQ8jyz91aFdj6wmR_0i8MH7zwR-x8Hy7YVh/s1600/tessa.jpeg" height="214" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Romantic warriors</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The first-ever Olympic Team Figure Skating event concluded yesterday, with the gold going to the Russian Federation. I guess showing the same stuff a few times works in gymnastics, so why not in skating too?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I shouldn't complain, since I'm strongly in favor of anything giving Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir more televised ice time. The 2010 Vancouver winter games took place a couple of weeks after my baby girl was born, and I distinctly remember thinking the Moir/Virtue ice dancing gold medal routine was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my life. Well, <i>one of</i> the </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">most beautiful things I'd ever seen in my life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This time around my mind was only partially fried, and the Canadian <i>anges sur glace</i> were once again mesmerizing. The judges opted for style over beauty and gave the top ice dancing score to the Americans. Maybe it wasn't style they favored, but it certainly wasn't beauty.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">However, it was the Russian Federation team that earned gold all-around, largely on the tiny shoulders of Yulia Lipnitskaya. Her short routine on Saturday ended with a spin of such astonishing torque that she nearly drilled herself through the ice into the bowels of the Iceberg Skating Palace. The fact that her foot (w/skate) was contorted behind her head for the dizzying spin-finale pushed things into the absurd. Oh yeah, she drew a little heart on the ice as the music ended.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">"Little Nikita" (I couldn't find a
nickname for her anywhere except "</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #212121; font-family: Verdana;">кренделек," which I
believe loosely translates into "spinning pretzel") put in another
phenomenal performance on Sunday in the free skate portion of the event. She drew ire from many for choosing to skate to the theme from <i>Schindler's List</i>- I mean, couldn't she at least use "Love Theme from </span><i style="color: #212121; font-family: Verdana;">Schindler's List</i><span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Verdana;">"?!!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #212121; font-family: Verdana;">Speaking of odd music choices, American bad girl Ashley Wagner skated to Pink Floyd's "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" for her short routine. NBC's commentators apparently found nothing strange about doing triple lutzes to an extended Dave Gilmour guitar solo, simply stating, "Well, she certainly is a crazy diamond."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">COMING SOON: Women's curling, Men's biathlon</span></div>
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Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-52389900099832718462013-05-17T21:46:00.000-04:002013-05-17T21:46:31.888-04:00???<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs0nemROKdN5LUl_d8U9RoleEvWh7wAl3Ua3xgbT0J7Lfw6jQp9w9pBbpjdJiwt_9uwvOvov7kA4HHXG0z1kHJSN5rdck5u6iauRKQPHSMWnsimpTdKGNz_AplCX2l9vpCku3nCuPa5Kk9/s1600/sharklinepool.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" pua="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs0nemROKdN5LUl_d8U9RoleEvWh7wAl3Ua3xgbT0J7Lfw6jQp9w9pBbpjdJiwt_9uwvOvov7kA4HHXG0z1kHJSN5rdck5u6iauRKQPHSMWnsimpTdKGNz_AplCX2l9vpCku3nCuPa5Kk9/s640/sharklinepool.PNG" width="360" /></a></div>
Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-69364907396303686282012-12-13T10:26:00.002-05:002012-12-13T10:28:12.476-05:00Z is for Zebra<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqXU4uHoqY4nHULZGF-lP0DxkkCW5AqJk9QnB3JqvvrTqRLvnKZrngdUcoDbWYz9IhjjBNE6EHKqJ-Fi1Jh5zP2chrsjqqTD1S5ECmqoTAr0R-AyweknE7Sgo-kKkt1JqKV8c3elsW2OQ1/s1600/IMG-20110604-00006.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img bea="true" border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqXU4uHoqY4nHULZGF-lP0DxkkCW5AqJk9QnB3JqvvrTqRLvnKZrngdUcoDbWYz9IhjjBNE6EHKqJ-Fi1Jh5zP2chrsjqqTD1S5ECmqoTAr0R-AyweknE7Sgo-kKkt1JqKV8c3elsW2OQ1/s320/IMG-20110604-00006.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Looks like we made it! This took way too long; as a result, I'm abandoning the "DVDz from A to Z" series I was planning as a follow-up. I'm looking forward to finally posting some of the great stuff I keep talking about that sits in my Drafts folder: a piece about Estes model rockets, some new suggestions for inspirational movie clips at sporting events, and something titled "Calling All Nipples." Thanks for reading!</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><br /><br />Dan Zanes - <em>Cool Down Time</em></strong> (1995)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I've mentioned this fine record before, I believe. An album with well-written songs, expert musicianship, and smooth production, which distinguished it from 90% of the music I was listening to in 1995.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><br /><br />Frank Zappa - "Peaches en Regalia"</strong> (1969)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I'm listing this as a separate entity from <em>Hot Rats</em> because: 1) I traded in my <em>Hot Rats</em> CD for beer money in Providence, and 2) I'm a proud owner of the "Peaches en Regalia" CD3 issued by Ryko in 1987. This rare "mini-CD" release is one of the more valuable items in my collection, and I-- Well, looks like you can find it at just about any price you want at Discogs, eBay, Amazon, etc.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Either way, I love this song. They used to play it VH1's <em>New Visions</em> around 1986/87 all the time, along with lots of crappy "new age" and smooth jazz stuff. If you got lucky, you might catch a Lounge Lizards track or even Al Di Meola's "Sequencer" video, which was <em>almost</em> fair compensation for enduring hours of Spyro Gyra and Yellowjackets clips. </span><br />
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</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Zebra - <em>Zebra</em></strong> (1983)</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana;">If you <strike>threw up</strike> grew up on Long Island in the 70s/80s, you probably knew about Zebra. If you aren't familiar with the Cajun-cum-Commack trio, they were a cover band that finally got a deal and made a good record, then a not-so-good record, and then a record I've never heard, and apparently made one more that I just learned about. If I were actually a member of Zebra, I'd simply say, "OK, so we're just a derivative mixture of Led Zeppelin and Rush, but we're really fucking good at it!!! And since there's only three of us, we make shitloads of money playing the clubs!"</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6FGO4dxwTbd92cmkW04ttHAdKdn2yIPYFd6opX2F4bMD7R3azB_2SmO6w0tLgDQZeL4lV9Bnvj6l9S17DZejGxX7rPjsr2w5N2K0-Qb8F3VDA15H90jxjC_PeGyJIIHsNteHGIvHoEOMn/s1600/IMG-20120712-00061.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img bea="true" border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6FGO4dxwTbd92cmkW04ttHAdKdn2yIPYFd6opX2F4bMD7R3azB_2SmO6w0tLgDQZeL4lV9Bnvj6l9S17DZejGxX7rPjsr2w5N2K0-Qb8F3VDA15H90jxjC_PeGyJIIHsNteHGIvHoEOMn/s320/IMG-20120712-00061.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Someday will my son will wear this.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">To be fair, I really loved my <em>Zebra</em> cassette. "When You Get There," "As I Said Before," and "Don't Walk Away" are as good as the bigger hits, and the bigger hits are really darn good. Watching the follow-up, <em>No Tellin' Lies</em>, hit the cut-out bins in real time was almost as depressing as actually listening to the album itself (except "Wait Until the Summer's Gone" and "Bears," I guess). At least they were on MTV for a while there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">*WAIT!!! Look at this incredible cruise concert on Zebra's <a href="http://www.thedoor.com/" target="_blank">site</a>! Yes, U.K., Tangerine Dream, Saga, Carl Palmer, Nektar, <em>and</em> Zebra??!!! I feel seasick already...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>John Zorn - <em>Naked City</em></strong> (1989)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">"Eh, excuse me... I believe this record should be categorized as an 'N' release, since Naked City was an actual band."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">"Perhaps you're right (whoever you are), but in case you haven't noticed, the Zs are a bit lean in the artist department."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I'm certain that I've never successfully played this recording from start to finish when I wasn't alone. At least not that I can recall.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>ZZ Top - <em>Degüello</em></strong> (1979)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">This is the ZZ Top record I've listened to more than any other. I used to crack myself up when I'd sneak "Manic Mechanic" onto a respectably indie rockish mix tape back when people still made mix tapes. Maybe we stopped making mix tapes because it was such a pain in the ass for people to fast forward past songs like "Manic Mechanic." I used to crack myself up thinking about the recipients of my mix tapes having to fast forward past songs like "Manic Mechanic." Again, I've listened to <em>Degüello</em> more than any other ZZ Top record.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>ZZ Top - <em>Eliminator</em></strong> (1983)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I'm told that I once declared that <em>Eliminator</em> "was the <em>Kick</em> of its time." This bizarre and ridiculous statement surely requires an explanation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">First, I was referring to the 1987 INXS album. This is immediately problematic, since 1983 and 1987 are chronological next-door neighbors by most standards; many older people would have difficulty making clear distinctions between the two "eras." But one can also argue that popular music in 1983 <em>did</em> sound different than popular music released in 1987, so let's move on.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">If I meant that <em>Eliminator</em> and <em>Kick</em> each featured remarkable runs of hit singles that were unprecedented for their respective artists, then maybe I had a point. In hindsight (which is the only way I can interpret or understand many musical claims I made in the 90s), I was probably referring to the fact that both bands incorporated sequenced rhythm tracks to a greater degree than on previous recordings. I'm also pretty sure I was riffing on some slurred comments another friend once made about <em>Kick</em>, but that's beside the point. I stand by what I said.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I love when something I say seemed really stupid at the time, but actually turns out to be only a little stupid.</span></div>
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Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-45735556940098682862012-12-07T22:01:00.002-05:002012-12-07T22:08:40.223-05:00Y is for Yanni<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"I complete you..."</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Yanni - <em>Live at the Acropolis</em></strong> (1994)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">This clearly goes down as one of the Seven Wonders of World Music. God! I used to love watching this and <em>Tribute</em> on PBS on a slow night. Like an elite few artists (Zeppelin, Daniel Day-Lewis, Kris Humphries...), Yanni is at once sublime and absurd, mighty and mortal, profound and fucking stupid. Features the brilliant percussionist and music therapist <em>Kalani</em>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>Yazoo - "Don't Go"</strong> (1982)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">"Holy shit, that sounds kinda like Keith Emerson! Whoa, that's definitely not Greg Lake singing! Jeez, these drums sound much tighter than Carl Palmer's and don't seem to be fluctuating in tempo! This is definitely not E.L.P.!" -me, in 1982</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>Yello - "Bostich"</strong> (1980/1981)<br />I didn't exactly know about this seminal cut by Boris, Carlos, and Dieter back when it was released, but I recall being fully aware of the influence (both direct and indirect) that European electronic music seemed to be exerting on the development of hip hop. I also loved going to Baskin-Robbins.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>Yellow Magic Orchestra - "Computer Game"</strong> (1979)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">That makes three electro/synthpop tracks in a row! So I used to take lessons at the L.I. Drum Center, and the first guy I had was all about chops and pretty much nothing else. I told him I didn't want to do paradiddles every week, and I was immediately reassigned to the "weird" guy they had on staff. My new instructor was awesome-- we bonded on Allmans, Jeff Beck, and Tangerine Dream (true!). Soon he started inviting me to jazz fusion shows in Queens (?), adding that we could see some friends of his before the show. I'm pretty sure he was into Sri Chinmoy, but... Oh yeah! He was really into Yellow Magic Orchestra too. Cool dude.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Too bad I drunk-dialed him on my birthday in 1993 (along with my grandmother and at least two girls much closer to my age) and slurred about my Tama kit that I was still playing and my Zildjians and record deals and all sorts of bullshit. Embarassing and ill-advised.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Yes - <em>The Yes Album</em></strong> (1971)<br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><em>scenario #1</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">THEM: "<em>Fragile</em> is the best Yes album ever made."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">ME: "Well... <em>The Yes Album</em> is pretty darn good, too! In fact, I'll argue that it's more consistent than <em>Fragile</em>. Not a weak song on there, although "Perpetual Change" mostly succeeds due to one of the more insane moments in the group's entire catalog near the six-minute mark. "Starship Trooper" might be my favorite Yessong ever, you dig?! The triumphant "<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Würm</span>" rises like a slow-motion psychedelic leviathan from the Atlantic, leaving Led Zep and CSNY treading in their respective acoustic tidepools. And of course, "Your Move" is one of the great singles of the early 70s."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><em>scenario #2</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">THEM: "<em>The Yes Album</em> is the best Yes album ever made."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">ME: "What are you, fucking crazy??!!!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Yes - <em>Fragile</em></strong> (1972)<br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strike>If <em>The Yes Album</em> is pleasant, ambitious psychedelia, then its successor <em>Fragile</em> is a rocky trip on some speedy but strong acid</strike> <em>Fragile</em> is a bit more challenging than its predecessor, which is somewhat ironic considering its popularity. It's insane that we used to hear "Roundabout" all the time on the radio, right?! <em>Fragile</em> is certainly the best <em>sounding</em> Yes record (unless you're a friend or relative of Trevor Rabin), and I'd say the most daring as well (unless you consider how in the world they dared to release something as lousy as <em>Tormato</em>). I can listen to "Long Distance Runaround" at any imaginable moment under any possible circumstances and love it dearly. While "LDR" is supremely visionary in the halls of prog, "Heart of the Sunrise" has very, very few peers when it comes to sheer musicianship. Only three examples are coming to mind at the moment, and only one isn't by Rush or Al Di Meola.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Too bad most of the rest of the cuts stink. The bass guitar and guitar "showcase" tracks are the only ones I'll even consider listening to, so just put on the second side and cut your losses.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Yo La Tengo - <em>President Yo La Tengo</em></strong> (1989)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">This was the first thing I bought by the hobos from Hoboken, and boy did I like it. I liked their next record too, but it seemed just a little bit boring compared to the one before it. I liked their next record too, but it seemed just a little bit boring compared to the one before it. I liked their next record too, but it seemed just a little bit boring compared to the one before it... You get the idea.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">As their records became more and more boring, my behavior at their shows became more and more outrageous. I've been thrown out of at least three Yo La shows, all in different clubs for different reasons: 1) throwing up on bar and trying to order another drink right away, 2) falsely lumped in with group of people that were heckling James McNew, and 3) extreme intoxication. Hey! I've also seen them lots of other times and behaved like a perfect gentleman, so back off.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Neil Young - <em>Everybody Knows This is Nowhere</em></strong> (1969)<br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Somehow this was never one of my favorite Neil albums, even though I'd consider nearly every song it contains to be among my favorites. I'm an asshole.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Neil Young - <em>After the Gold Rush</em></strong> (1970)<br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">This is the one that really blew my mind. I still believe that the entire album is from outer space, with the exception of "Southern Man." I added the exception when I introduced my theory at a party years ago, knowing that wisdom on the fringes usually needs to be reeled in a bit for the masses. Point is, the album is extraordinary.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Neil Young - <em>Tonight's the Night</em></strong> (1975)<br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">One of the first Neil records I owned. Honestly never thought it was that depressing until I was old enough to puke from drinking, and even then I could still rock out to it. OK, I've never danced to "Tired Eyes," but I've sure as hell boogied down to the likes of "Lookout Joe" a few times. Just a few tracks shy of a freaking party album.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Neil Young - <em>Rust Never Sleeps</em></strong> (1979)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">This has always been my favorite, start to finish. "Thrasher," "Pocahontas," "Sail Away," and "Powderfinger" are every bit as important to me as protein, baseball, prescription drugs, and crossword puzzles. Can't count the number of times I reached for this one when nothing at all sounds interesting.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Neil Young - <em>Ragged Glory</em></strong> (1990)<br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I was crawling in the swamps of grunge when this baby dropped, and it was damn fine to finally remember how to walk again. Neil and crew had good songs, took their time without wasting it, and <em>had fun</em>. One of the best album intros ever.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>YoungBloodZ - "85"</strong> (1999)<br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Lord, did I groove to this joint when it came out... The whole "Southern rap" thing was either totally happening (for most of us) or totally played out already (for Southern hipsters), but who gives a shit?! This song was IT for me, even more than Outkast. Funny, since Big Boi delivers the bomb verse of the whole tune, somehow avoiding a single downbeat for the duration. Spacejace, you still out there? You know you loved this one!</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-56927028976939566972012-09-18T21:08:00.001-04:002012-09-18T21:12:48.113-04:00X is for X<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>X - <em>Los Angeles</em> </strong>(1980)</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They truly broke the mold...</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Tough for me to separate this record (or the band itself) from The Decline of Western Civilization, a film in which X totally outperforms a handful of other classic L.A. punk bands like Black Flag, Fear, and the Circle Jerks (exempt are The Germs, who defy conventions of musical criticism/appreciation). DJ Bonebrake taught me that there was nothing cooler than being a <em>really</em> good drummer in a punk rock band.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>X - <em>Wild Gift</em></strong> (1981)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">"We're Desperate" and "White Girl" rule, but I still like the debut better.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>X - <em>Under the Big Black Sun</em></strong> (1982)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I can't find my copy of this one.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>X - <em>More Fun in the New World</em></strong> (1983)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Great songs, but lacks the danger of the earlier sides. That's what happens when punks get old, right?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>XTC - <em>English Settlement</em></strong> (1982)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">How many great major label British pop-rock records came out in 1982? Tons!!! You couldn't show your face in public if you weren't a reverent fan of this one, although I always wondered how many "fans" could actually make it through the whole thing in one sitting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>XTC - <em>Skylarking</em></strong> (1986)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I tried to call "bullshit" on this one, and completely missed the point. "Earn Enough For Us" is awesome.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>XTC - <em>Oranges and Lemons</em> </strong>(1989)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Think it's tough to make it through <em>English Settlement</em>? Try listening to this one soup to nuts with a hangover! Better to call it quits at track 7.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>X-Ray Spex - <em>Obsessed With You: The Early Years</em></strong> (1991)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">This is my wife's CD. I like the handful of songs I actually know...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>Xymox - "Phoenix Of My Heart"</strong> (1991)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Also my wife's CD. Back when we still though we were cool/young enough to go to rock shows in Brooklyn, we spent a night giggling on the side of the stage at North Six watching bands rip off LCD Soundsystem. We giggled so much that we ended up popping a few Ambiens and "walking around" Williamsburg after the show. We somehow made it home, and discovered that we each purchased (hopefully) two used CDs at some point that night. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">One of mine was <em>Freestyle Greatest Beats, Volume 10</em>, which has "Body Rock" on it. If it sounds like I'm bragging, I'm not; I still don't know what my other CD was, or is.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">My wife scored a cracked Xymox single and a horrible Ofra Haza CD (also cracked). Don't do drugs.</span>Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-22149458687832810632012-09-04T21:19:00.003-04:002015-12-09T14:08:15.301-05:00W is for Weather Report<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><strong>Scott Walker - <em>Scott 3</em> (1969)</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">One of my favorite moments from my first wedding was my friend blasting Scott Walker in his car by himself in the hotel parking lot. I guess I should have taken that as a bad sign.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><strong>Weather Report - <em>Black Market </em>(1976)</strong></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Groov</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">e like uranium</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When you're a kid listening to cassettes, liner notes aren't always much help. I bought the cheap-looking white and red Columbia tape of this one, saying to myself as I rode my bike home, "Cool, this is the one with Jaco and Chester Thompson..." I was right about that, sort of.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Barely a teenager, the idea that different guys might play on different songs <em>on the same album</em> wasn't exactly familiar to me. So when I popped this one in and got my mind completely blown by the opening song, "Black Market," I naturally imagined Messrs Pastorius and Thompson steering the ship. No big deal, except that we're talking about one of the heaviest grooves ever waxed, period. Waxed by Alphonso Johnson and the insane Narada Michael Walden, <em>not</em> Jaco and Chester. Imagine going through your formative years thinking Jimmy Page sang "Black Dog." That's what I was up against as a teenager.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><strong>Ween - <em>The Mollusk</em> (1997)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Maybe not the best one (or maybe it is), but certainly my favorite to listen to. They nail British prog & folk to the wall like the Edict of Nantes, demanding the right to respectfully issue musical grievances to the pretentious.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";"></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><strong>Gillian Welch - <em>Time (The Revelator)</em> (2001)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">This one grabs and doesn't let go. More than enough beauty to keep you from hanging yourself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><strong>The White Stripes - <em>The White Stripes</em> (1999)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I dismissed these two until I actually listened to their records. Now I dismiss those that still dismiss these two.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><strong>Chris Whitley - <em>Dirt Floor</em> (1998)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I've already talked about this one in the context of <a href="http://leemazzola.blogspot.com/2011/04/bargain-bin.html" target="_blank">"bargain bin"</a> finds, which is a little insulting to the power of the recording itself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><strong>The Who - <em>Tommy</em> (1969)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I could easily be writing about any of the first eight Who albums here, but I'm gonna stick with the juicy middle of the Moon era. <em>Tommy</em> still captures the lads in their discovery period, yet reaps the rewards of experience in instrumental prowess and studio chops. Plus, the '96 remaster is insanely good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><strong>The Who - <em>Live at Leeds</em> (1970)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Pretty tough to top this one as a live document. I used to ramble about the Allmans' <em>Fillmore East</em> spanning the entire expanse of American popular music in the 20th century (except showtunes and doo-wop, maybe?), but <em>Live at Leeds</em> hints at genres uninvented in its time. I've also rambled about this being the best Who record, period.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Speaking of uninvented genres, I still prefer the brutal original to the awesome remastered repackaged version. Then again, I also prefer the crappy original of <em>Who By Numbers</em> to the far superior remaster, so don't listen to me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";"></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><strong>The Who - <em>Who's Next</em> (1971)</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">When I'm not rambling (whatever that means), I'll tell you that this is the best Who record, period. The innocence of <em>Tommy</em> is <em>long</em> gone (after only two years!), replaced by sheer mastery and a dark feeling that's hard to describe. Townshend's all-consuming frustration with the sprawling <em>Lifehouse</em> project(s)? Mounting equipment/rehab expenses? Anyway, this HAS to be one of the five best classic <em>rock</em> records.</span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><strong>Hank Williams - <em>40 Greatest Hits</em> (1978)</strong></span>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Hey, who cares if it's just a "collection?!" The man was a singles machine, so let's hear 'em!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">About twenty years ago (!) I put both discs of this set and my Ray & Pete CD in my changer, and taped a shuffled mix of the three. I thought it was utter genius, but the other two people driving around the country in a van with me didn't exactly share my lust for depravity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><strong>Lucinda Williams - <em>Car Wheels on a Gravel Road</em> (1998)</strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I was right in the middle of a multi-layered personal disaster when this miraculous record came out in the summer of '98. To be precise, I was pulling myself out of the first pile of wreckage and a few months away from being completely blindsided by the second phase of the disaster. By the middle of '99, I was finally heading in the right direction and only months away from getting my ass kicked on a daily basis... and loving every second of it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Car Wheels got me from point A to point F and back again. She knew exactly what I'd lost, exactly where I ended up, and exactly what I was trying to find. Thank you, Miss Williams.</span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><strong>Wire - <em>Pink Flag</em> (1977)</strong></span>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana";">Wow. That's all I can say about this one.</span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><strong>Stevie Wonder - <em>Innervisions</em> (1973) </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I'll put <em>Talking Book</em> right beside this one, but <em>Innervisions</em> gets more plays.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><strong>Wu-Tang Clan - <em>Enter the Wu-Tang: 36 Chambers</em> (1993) </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana";">I used to love buying rap records on Thayer St. in early '90s Providence, RI. I could count on (1) finding a cheap promo of what I was looking for (because nobody ever bought rap records there), and (2) being stared at like a had a screwdriver sticking out of my forehead (especially by record clerks I knew!).</span><span style="font-family: "verdana";">It took me a month or two to fully dig this record; the songs I loved immediately were "Can It Be..." and "Tearz." Understand that I was essentially listening to it by myself, as I was stuck with the same two people on tour that didn't exactly correspond to the Wu. As soon as I had another head to bob with, the hits kept coming.</span>Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-10558557854250228942012-08-26T14:12:00.002-04:002012-08-31T12:51:53.028-04:00V is for Venom<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Some guy told me that products with names starting with the letter V never sell as well as competing "non-V" brands. I always preferred Vivarin to NoDoz, and it's my understanding that Vagisil is the industry standard of the yeast infection world, but I believed the guy. I made a solemn vow to never name one of my bands with a V first letter-- a vow I've kept to this day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Van Halen - <em>Fair Warning </em>(1981)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've already written about this record at least twice (<a href="http://leemazzola.blogspot.com/2011/06/road-games-remaster.html" target="_blank">#1</a>, <a href="http://leemazzola.blogspot.com/2011/01/top-10-guitar-solos.html" target="_blank">#2</a>), so I'll spare you. I like <em>Van Halen</em>, <em>Diver Down</em>, and <em>1984</em> almost as much for lots of reasons, but <em>Fair Warning</em> is the best.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Townes Van Zandt - <em>Live at the Old Quarter </em>(1977)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My first favorite Townes record was <em>Live and Obscure</em>, which I've since lost. I still tell myself that the <em>L & O</em> versions are better than the Old Quarter ones, which doesn't seem possible but sure is fun to believe.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>The Vaselines - <em>The Way of the Vaselines: A Complete History </em>(1992)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Me and my friends I lived with in Providence once found an unidentified mixed tape in our house. The cassette was mysteriously and beautifully labelled <em>white hot bee shot through flesh</em>. Either (1) it belonged to former tenants of the house, (2) it was accidentally left behind by a girl that came over, or (3) it was a gift from a girl that came over. We knew it was made by a girl because the label on the tape was exquisitely written in very cool lowercase letters no male would be capable of rendering. Scenario (1) seemed ridiculous, so it had to be (2) or (3). Since we were drunk at least 85% of the time we lived at this particular house, (3) was the clear-cut winner.<br /><br />Anyway, side A of <em>white hot bee</em> opened with "Son of a Gun," as I'm sure thousands of other cool tapes have opened across the world. The frightening thing about this mix was the B side, which featured an ambient "song" featuring what we believed to be a young child whimpering, possibly while being tortured. The "crying song" was so terrifying that I almost had a nervous breakdown listening to it one morning while I was deathly hung over. We never tried very hard to solve the mystery of the tape, probably out of mortal fear.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Stevie Ray Vaughan - <em>Texas Flood</em> (1983)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So fucking good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Velvet Crush - <em>In The Presence Of Greatness </em>(1991)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strike>So fu</strike> Here's a record that just <em>feels</em> right. I (barely) remember staggering around pushing this one on anyone forced to listen, calling it "what the new Fanclub should sound like." Unfortunately, when Velvet Crush got their turn to make a "studio" album, they just couldn't make it stick. Too bad, because <em>Teenage Symphonies...</em> is really good too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>The Velvet Underground - <em>The Velvet Underground & Nico </em>(1967)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I made a name for myself for a while with asinine jukebox hijinks, like playing the Scorps' "<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span lang="ru" xml:lang="ru">Ветер перемен</span>"</span></span> (the Russian version of "Wind of Change") three times in a row at a bar in Montreal, or pulling the "00" trick to play awful albums like <em>Jagged Little Pill</em> in their entirety. I was nearly thrown out/beat up for delivering another three-fer at a joint in Kenai, AK: the Velvets' "All Tomorrow's Parties" with two encores.<br /><br /><strong>The Velvet Underground - <em>White Light/White Heat </em>(1968)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If the third VU made me want to write my own songs, this one made me want to record them. Myself, that is. I had to play "Sister Ray" at least three times in a row the first time I heard it, just to make sure I was hearing what I thought I was hearing. One of the most important things I've ever listened to.<br /><br /><strong>The Velvet Underground - <em>The Velvet Underground </em>(1969)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If the second VU made me want to record my own songs, this one made me want to write the songs first. Tough to make an album this perfect, especially when it contains nine minutes of embarassing garbage.<br /><br /><strong>The Velvet Underground - <em>Loaded </em>(1970)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've slagged this record so many times, it's a bit surprising that I have any friends left at all. Of course it's great! I just thought it should've been their best record instead of their worst. And if it's <em>not</em> their worst, which of the other three is it better than?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Venom - <em>Black Metal </em>(1982)</strong></span> <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.allmusic.com/album/black-metal-mw0000676301" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRpuD8PaWSdaZx0cnH5eqSPZA9Ugj5zS-WFQDbORfrDJ1aoFL7v0vxS9nYSD48f1na3NLEE1fLRRq7WTAfR0WXcGbi3VwHKwVCzvPWmrTzhu4sXCn3T6lRsYGOIJgmKXu5h7cHqdgX56k6/s200/venom.jpg" width="200" yda="true" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Drawn by Satan?</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">OK, I've never even heard this record, but I believe it's the one to have if you're interested in Venom (it features a song called "Countess Bathory," OK?). There was a weird guy named Vinnie at my high school that was pretty much the biggest Venom fan on Earth, or any other realm. I figured Vinnie listened to Venom because they were the only metal band that had yet to disappoint him; perhaps no other group of men could possibly live up to his unspeakably evil standards. Slayer? Used to like 'em. Metallica? Fucking sellouts. Maiden? Please!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Vinnie had lots of Venom shirts (at least five, anyway), but the Black Metal one stuck with me. Not that I ever let Vinnie know that I was looking at it or him, of course.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>The Verlaines - <em>Bird Dog </em>(1987)</strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">A great record to listen to by yourself. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Versus - "Let's Electrify" EP (1993)</strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I can't find my copy. Probably lost in the "take whatever the fuck you want as long as I can keep the computer" portion of my divorce. Pretty hard to find, but has to be their finest release. Recorded at the legendary Studio Red in Philly, pre-flood.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>V-3 - <em>Photograph Burns </em>(1996)</strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I think Joey Pants gave me a promo of this, but maybe not. Dark, great, and tragic.</span></div>
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Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-42911113128828238782012-08-21T22:23:00.001-04:002012-08-22T10:20:23.852-04:00"Game Changers"<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One of my favorite games to play with friends is something we call "Roll the Bones." To play, one distributes ten fair dice (ten-sided dragon dice are optimal, but not required) amongst all players (as equally as possible), and the players roll all ten dice simultaneously. Each player creates their own distinct ten-digit number sequence (<em>not</em> starting with "0" or "1") using the digits randomly generated by the dice, and then enters their unique sequence into their cellular phone. The players depress their "call" buttons at the same time, and upon connection with a receiving party begin screaming at maximum volume into their phones. The player that keeps their target receiver on the phone the longest wins that particular round.<br /><br />Another fun game is to create specific musical criteria for bands, albums, musicians, etc., and name as many examples as possible that satisfy or exemplify the conditions. Example: <em>Bands whose second album was generally considered to be their finest</em>, or <em>Bands named after a member other than the lead singer</em>, or <em>"Good" bands whose album catalogs contain a majority of releases that are "not good."</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Of course the answers are highly subjective, which is why the game is so fun. Anyway, here's a new one I thought of a few nights ago... It expands on an earlier topic I came up with: <em>Bands that were successful in two different incarnations, each featuring a different lead singer.</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">[note: You might have some better ideas than the ones I'm suggesting-- please share/discuss via comments! It's really fun!]</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>"Game Changers"<br />Bands that replaced or added a member(s) and reached new levels of success. </strong>The band must have a minimum of two proper full-length releases before the addition/replacement, and the new member must be an integral part of the newfound success. So, no Peart for Rutsey.<br /><br />Exemplars:<br /><strong>Fleetwood Mac</strong> - Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham replace Bob Welch (1975)<br />Tough to beat this one. Bob Welch was a major Mac member, but the Buckingham/Nicks upgrade was like getting Ruth/Gehrig for Jimmy Dykes. Or like getting Mike Schmidt and Steve Carlton for Bob Welch...<br /><br /><strong>Journey</strong> - Steve Perry replaces Robert Fleischman (1977)<br />Perry really was recruited to augment the existing vocalists Neil Schon and Gregg Rolie-- a job Fleischman apparently couldn't hack. Have you ever heard Gregg Rolie sing "Open Arms?" Me neither.<br /><br /><strong>AC/DC</strong> - Brian Johnson replaces Bon Scott (1980)<br />Before you accuse me of blasphemy, I <u>love</u> Bon Scott. It's just that <strong>Back In Black</strong> is one of the biggest selling albums in the history of mankind, so I think this qualifies.<br /><br /><strong>Doobie Brothers</strong> - Michael McDonald replaces Tom Johnston (1975)<br />That's gotta suck... "Hey bro, sorry about your ulcer. Listen, Mike's just gonna fill in for a while."<br /><br /><strong>Faith No More</strong> - Mike Patton replaces Chuck Mosley (1988)<br />I owned records by these guys both before and after the above switch, and I can attest to the fact that Faith No More became a better and more popular band as a result.<br /><br /><strong>Genesis</strong> - Phil Collins replaces John Mayhew (1970)<br />'Nuff said.<br /><br />More Drummers:<br /><strong>Sleater-Kinney</strong> - Janet Weiss replaces Laura Macfarlane (1996)<br />Completed the new definition of power trrrio with vocals, style, and kick-ass drums.<br /><br /><strong>Flaming Lips</strong> - Steven Drozd replaces Nathan Roberts (1991)<br />They just happened to start selling lots of records when this guy starts playing drums? Hmm...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong><br />Simple Minds</strong> - Mel Gaynor replaces Mike Ogletree (1982)<br />Listen to "Don't You (Forget About Me)" and report back to me. Don't forget.<br /><br />Sort of:<br /><strong>Red Hot Chili Peppers</strong> - John Frusciante replaces DeWayne "Blackbyrd" McKnight (1988)<br />Tough one. They've gotten so big it doesn't seem to matter who plays guitar at this point.<br /><br /><strong>Survivor</strong> - Jimi Jamison replaces Dave Bickler (1984)<br />Most people think "Eye of the Tiger" when Survivor comes up, and that's Bickler. On the other hand, I think of "High On You," "The Search Is Over," "I Can't Hold Back," and other hit singles featuring vocalist Jimi Jamison.</span>Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-68261243473124887752012-07-31T23:09:00.000-04:002012-07-31T23:09:02.925-04:00Men's Water Polo (United States v. Romania)<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here we are live from the, um, pool with the Americans' prelim against Romania. Pretty sure these guys will be tougher than Montenegro, whom we barely beat on Sunday.<br /><br />It's tough to imagine a more boring sport than water polo. Boring to watch, that is. Fourteen hulking men (or women, who are probably hulking as well) tread water in a giant pool for what seems like forever and try to throw a ball into each other's goal. Torture for both viewer and participant.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The commentators opened today's segment by repeatedly reminding their likely novice viewers that water polo is the most difficult sport in the world to play. <em>Every</em> sport (except baseball and golf) claims to be the most physically demanding sport in the world. Ironically, the two hardest things to do in sports are (1) hitting a major league curveball, and (2) hitting a golf ball near crowds of people without killing anyone.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">If you're actually interested in the rules of water polo, check out <a href="http://espn.go.com/olympics/summer/2012/sports/_/name/wp/water-polo" target="_blank">this</a> idiotic guide courtesy of ESPN. I learned that the goalies are about half as large as the other players, and that the playing area is marked by lines of "bouys."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">My college roommate was on the school water polo and swim teams, and my buddies and I would often cheer him on at home meets. There was a particularly buxom freshman girl on the swim team that was legendary for causing epileptic seizure epidemics simply by climbing out of the pool after a race. Boy, do I miss college.<br /><br />Speaking of miracles of science, I had a particularly grueling MRI done last week. I was back at the __________ Imaging Center, the same place I've had this kind of thing done <a href="http://leemazzola.blogspot.com/2010/05/yankees-7-twins-1.html" target="_blank">in the past</a>. I reprised one of my earlier performances by enduring a brain-spine-thoracic scan, which most industry insiders consider the Iron Man Triathlon of MRIs. This particular combination usually takes almost an hour to complete, and can last well over 75 minutes with contrast injections. The three components of the examination are rarely administered consecutively, except perhaps with patients in vegetative states, medically induced comas, etc. Unless, of course, that patient is none other than <em>The Ice Pop</em>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The ____________ Imaging Center is absolutely top-notch, with state-of-the-art equipment and a wonderful staff. I've developed a bit of a name for myself at this particular facility for my ability to endure long periods of time "inside the tube." I scrawl my signature on the required forms and releases, skipping most of the minutae I imagine most clients are asked to complete. An annoying man on a cell phone jabbers away next to me as his partner (girlfriend? paid escort?) fills out his paperwork. Apparently he had a meeting later in the afternoon and was annoyed at waiting so long. <em>You think this is a long time? You're about to learn all about time, my friend...</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">A nurse materializes from the special elevator, and summons me to come "down to the center." She also summons the phone guy and his companion, which struck me as odd. Before I could think much about it, the jackass bounds past me and almost knocks me off my fucking walker. The nurse stammers an apology (for him), and escorts the three of us into the elevator.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The jerk was still yelling into his phone as we descended two floors beneath the earth. The nurse says, "Sir, you can't use your phone now. There's no reception down here anyway!" The guy, who looked like Kelsey Grammer after ten twists in a vertical head-vise, loses his signal and growls at the nurse. We finally arrive at the facility proper.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Again, this place usually runs with as smooth and efficient as a Swiss train. But something is a bit off today, which is both concerning and a bit depressing. The waiting area, always a calming oasis with tons of room, was completely packed. A guy with a yarmulke rocked an infant in an enormous stroller while his wife waited for her exam to begin. Grammer keeps arguing with the escort nurse, and I calmly wait for my own personal nurse to show me the changing room, outfit my catheter, and present me to the awaiting team of imaging technicians.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">My suspicions were validated right away, as the escort nurse fumbled around with a few plastic jugs of barium sulfate for Grammer. He was slated ahead of me (I guess?), but still hadn't drank his barium for whatever the hell he was having done. She says they can fit me in ahead of him as soon as I'm changed, and hands me a plastic keychain. I say, "Shorts and shoes off, robe tied in front?" and she says, "No, just put your bag in the locker, and don't take off your shoes." I say, "OK, but shorts off, right?" and she says, "Leave them on, and don't take off your shoes." I imagined my shorts ripping off my body and through the tube by their metal snap, but didn't argue. As I made my way over to the changing lockers, a new nurse (named "Nimh") hops out of the imaging rooms and asks if I'm ready. I say, "Just putting my bag away," and Nimh says, "Shorts off. Keep your shoes on." WTF?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I came out of the locker area, and asshole was slurping barium sulfate like a kid at the soda shoppe. The guy with the baby has his black shoes off and seems to be nodding off, while his wife was already in room #2. Nimh leads me in to the tubes and I ask about my arm catheter, since I'm being scanned with and without contrast. She mutters something about not having time we'll do it later blah blah 20 minutes barium OK let's go! and I'm going in.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Finally I see my old friend, Anton LaVey. "Anton" (not really his name) is the tech that's done all my MRIs at this place, and a great guy. I'm debating between high five and handshake when Anton totally disses me-- he's just too busy with tube #2! What's even weirder is that there's a new assistant that looks like an imitation of Anton, with the shaved head, pointy beard, but not nearly as cool as his mentor. The minion, as I immediately dub him, doesn't seem to be doing much of anything.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I'm crushed that Anton won't be twirling the knobs on my scan. I had a whole back-and-forth planned out between us, after my MRI tech friend from Cali told me they were able to play music for patients while in the tubes! Something like this:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">ME: "Hey man, any chance you can pipe in some tunes for me during round one? I'm thinking Cluster's <em>Sowiesoso</em> would be pretty sweet, if you got it."<br />ANTON: "Negative. We have Floyd <em>Wish You Were Here</em>, cool?"<br />[silence]<br />ANTON: "I said, we have Floyd..."<br />ME: "Yeah, I heard you."<br />[silence]<br />ME: "Nah, forget it."<br /><br />Instead, I get Nimh herself doing the setup and the controls for my MRI. I'm imagining results weeks later looking like an Etch-a-Sketch drawing, and a report stating, "Results inconclusive..." But Nimh was alright, deftly inserting my earplugs and packing my head tightly into the plastic helmet. She packs more foam next to my ears so that I literally can't hear anything (great!), but then explains what the first round would entail while I'm halfway inside the tube (bmfft mwar bmffa mwrlla wrrmf... mmkay?!).<br /><br />With my head as cozy as a cotton clam, I'm totally in the zone within minutes. I like to keep my eyes barely open while in the tube, like a really stoned frankfurter. I'm about 20 minutes in and feeling like I can do 25 to life when I'm yanked out of the machine. Nimh tells me they have to fit in another client because his barium only works for so long and he's been waiting and I'll have to finish the other parts of my MRI when he's done in about 30 minutes. Fucking Grammer!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I make the walk of shame back out to the lounge, and Grammer's in his robe like some kind of perv waiting to pounce. The magazine table looks like the common area of an upstate SUNY dorm, with shit all over the place. The dad is full on passed out now, and still has his damn shoes off. Why does he get to take his shoes off?!! His child is now awake, and getting restless in his enormous stroller. Making matters worse, my iPod and crossword puzzle are locked in the damn locker, and I can't get to the magazines because of the stroller and the barium bottles. Plus my balls are totally squeezing out of my boxer briefs.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnetic_resonance_imaging" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img border="0" eda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjDLyeauzBVtFNCPgxcY4KVk2S-6fmncuxdErZczI0sJJ-RKsnQj33LT9UbaVYdBDsjezuG-pdgF0-7nPbNm96IQKbSJ2csICqE1plG7mGxYuhYyAEkDvvVxNf4Q7kf-q1aJfcxiQF64eM/s1600/220px-TR_TE.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Any questions?</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">At least I have a front row seat for Grammer's X-ray! I can't tell if it's his head or his stomach, but I can make out what looks like a giant scorpion on the screen. Doesn't look good. Anton's minion is assisting on Grammer's imaging, but is really just fucking around on the side computer. The snoring dad is subconsciously rocking the stroller every time his kid starts fussing. I'm fucking pissed off for almost an hour.<br /><br />Well, I finally got back in there with the minion running my MRI. He turned out to be an OK guy, and nothing of any interest occurred. The contrast went into my vein like metallic Tussin, and I didn't complain much. All in all, I was down on the imaging floor for a total of three hours.<br /><br />The U.S. beat Romania in water polo 10-8.</span></div>
<br />Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-78508631513295638762012-07-30T15:07:00.001-04:002012-07-30T23:47:11.449-04:00Women's Volleyball (United States v. Brazil)<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUICaJQybDxN5XdRfVTz5OURyAxuY7ekS6NAVWhWAV1J0eMn3IGtlr7zeP3nYx4uLoO5AEHGLjijNRUmJoazBI0AT6OLJSsztqgNejNlwdIApv3Y9ZphxPV91nPeZ7n1GHeYjYHjqiFPl3/s1600/imagesCA0BCLI8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" eda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUICaJQybDxN5XdRfVTz5OURyAxuY7ekS6NAVWhWAV1J0eMn3IGtlr7zeP3nYx4uLoO5AEHGLjijNRUmJoazBI0AT6OLJSsztqgNejNlwdIApv3Y9ZphxPV91nPeZ7n1GHeYjYHjqiFPl3/s1600/imagesCA0BCLI8.jpg" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Ladies, let's not get ugly out there..."</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I missed the entire first set because my son fell in the toilet.<br /><br />Hey, I caught I nice chunk of the Serbia-Korea match this morning, which was thoroughly entertaining. The Serbian Ivana Đerisilo caught my eye, mainly because I was so busy averting my eyes from the rest of the players on the court (don't bother trying Đerisilo's personal website-- it diverts to a diabetic supply company (?!)). That's not sexism, because I hate watching ugly guys like Mike Miller play in the NBA too, and my other favorite sports all mandate the wearing of helmets. The Serbian coach, Zoran Terzić, was like Aidan Quinn trapped in some kind of fetishistic nightmare. Let's just say they won't be appearing nude in an ESPN photo essay.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />Perhaps the Serbs would have fared better against a team not featuring the superhuman Kim Yeon-Koung. I thought she was at least 6'8", but my depth perception was a bit off while I peeked through my hands. Apparently she is known as the "Asian Gamova," which means about as much to me as calling her "Funicular Hedge." My research did reveal that Yeon-Koung is one of the only members of her national team that doesn't play for a team called Korean Highway Corp. Either way, she dominated the game.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />As for teams that did appear </span><a href="http://espn.go.com/espn/photos/gallery/_/id/8136693/2012-body-issue-bodies-want-espn-magazine" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">nude</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> in an ESPN photo essay, the Americans seem to be in control here. Destinee Hooker is literally blasting the ball down the throats of her opponents, which is pretty awesome! I don't see how they can lose with her at the net. I'm assuming the rest of the team is at least competent. One of the commentators keeps calling the U.S. women "workmanlike." Like, multiple times.<br /><br />Brazil is making a comeback. Sheilla is mind-blowingly good-- I'm wondering why I don't watch Brazilian volleyball more often. Powerhouse Paula Pequeno seems strong enough to deforest a sizable chunk of the Amazonian rainforest with her bare hands. My third or fourth favorite part of Team Brazil is the diminutive <em>libero</em> Fabiana, who has the appearance of a South American Jerri Blank (she can't possibly be confused with their other Fabiana, who is 6-4 and stunningly beautiful). Fabiana scurries on and off the court like she has absolutely no idea what she's doing, or so I thought until I learned that her position requires her to scurry on and off the court depending on who's serving.<br /><br />OK, Brazil took the third set and trails 2-1. [zzzzzzzzzzzzz... zzzzzzzzzzz...] Whoops, the U.S. won! [zzzzzzzzz... zzzzzzzzz...]</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<br />Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-59214390897692942872012-07-28T11:20:00.002-04:002012-07-28T11:20:47.209-04:00Women's Soccer (New Zealand v. Brazil)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFornhQjcKuNQOx0HJbzII4w7QBpYaKIs8rOLz336E104u5ZvuRL8djgkiX5yW1jD_rho62YNIP31aVLY__5ViomgLyAVVhBUNZNVTCmwAP-fa6AvFOR_tmKcnGcVLkJ5AyMyUX2P0R9GL/s1600/fab.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFornhQjcKuNQOx0HJbzII4w7QBpYaKIs8rOLz336E104u5ZvuRL8djgkiX5yW1jD_rho62YNIP31aVLY__5ViomgLyAVVhBUNZNVTCmwAP-fa6AvFOR_tmKcnGcVLkJ5AyMyUX2P0R9GL/s200/fab.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This isn't going to be easy.<br /><br />I've been planning my coverage of the 2012 Olympics since I first learned that London would be hosting the games (about a month ago). The challenges are myriad: time zone differences, children, confusing broadcast programming, lack of prescription drugs... But here we are.<br /><br />I've decided to go with NBC Sports (channel 122), since it sounds more appropriate than CNBC, MSNBC or Bravo. NBC proper is showing cycling, which I can watch right outside my living room window.<br /><br />The last 15 minutes of the first half were pretty good. Nil-nil. The Brazilians are absolutely <strike>manhandling</strike> abusing the Kiwis. Blatant shoves on the sidelines, brutal kicks to the gut on the ground, and even what appeared to be a flat-out insult by Marta. No shit, I saw one of the players standing directly behind a blonde New Zealander during a free kick, rubbing her hands vigorously up and down her opponent's chest and stomach. This is way more exciting than men's cycling.<br /><br />Still no scoring at the 60-minute mark. Totally into it. Fabiana's pretty dope! Worried that I'm not gonna make it through this whole game... </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My wife dragged our shrieking children across the street to the playground about a half hour ago, so I don't have much time here. Last time out the boy kept telling some kid named John that he "looked like a girl," and some adult intervention was required. I told Jr. later on that it's not nice to tell boys that they look like girls, and he said that this one might have been a "boy-girl." Since I wasn't actually at the playground for the incident, I just said, "Well, all Johns are boys," and changed the subject.<br /><br />We're at 75:00 now. Hey, the opening ceremony was sort of cool! Helped that I was buzzed on some kind of 7.2% weird red beer (Dog-Snake? Dogbite?) and pretty loose after the drubbing of the Red Sox. We didn't really have the sound on, so I had no idea what was going on most of the time, or any sense of what things "meant." That was a big plus.<br /><br />I was transfixed by the beige-clad escorts of each nation's athletes, and the mysterious objects they were holding. I thought they were either autoharps or personal spittoons (for olive pits?)-- turned out they were components of the massive torch-piece for the finale. Even the Pink Floyd thing worked for me, but I just couldn't sit still for "Hey Jude." Total downer! "Get Back" would've been awesome but a bit confusing... I don't know.<br /><br />OK, Brazil finally scores after 85 minutes of slogging away. Looks like Fabiana's hurt, or simply exhausted. Put this one in the ledger.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /><br /> </span>Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-22289820912674633792012-07-19T11:19:00.002-04:002012-07-19T14:02:29.539-04:00U is for Urban Dance Squad<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtWwVzjQQef5kPeMv27t6MJsILEvb5G2OH3yOd1ylE74NTJK1AEfJ0VYLRyQL9ta0TlrS7GaglFu9ARvhNLq8xoXR77jY60p0iH5k7EMSPEvfeeGgbCFFyh77gRBOuYzYbFsPZJb2UUXP1/s1600/uriah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtWwVzjQQef5kPeMv27t6MJsILEvb5G2OH3yOd1ylE74NTJK1AEfJ0VYLRyQL9ta0TlrS7GaglFu9ARvhNLq8xoXR77jY60p0iH5k7EMSPEvfeeGgbCFFyh77gRBOuYzYbFsPZJb2UUXP1/s200/uriah.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Cross-eyed and painful</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I looked through my vast subset of CDs by artists beginning with the letter U, and made the extraordinary discovery that many of my personal favorites were all released in the same year! Utopia's <em>Oops! Wrong Planet</em>, Uriah Heep's <em>Innocent Victim</em>, and Ultravox's <em>Ha!-Ha!-Ha!</em> were all born in 1977, and used lots of exclamation points!!! Instead of alienating the shrinking fan base this blog is very fortunate to still have, I've decided to focus on a slightly more contemporary time period...<br /><br />The early '90s were a marvelous 1000+ days to be alive, especially if you weren't busy overdosing or listening to Michael Bolton. Here are some of the very best records from 1990-1993, all found in the ubiquitous U section.<br /><br /><strong>Uncle Tupelo - <em>No Depression</em> (1990)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Most people I know felt like they'd been waiting to hear this record for most of their life. Not literally waiting for this specific release (like the new MBV?), but waiting for something to <em>sound</em> like this. When everyone on earth was slogging their way through <em>Ragged Glory</em> (myself included), these boys from Belleville took Neil somewhere completely fresh and new. The first three songs alone were responsible for thousands of drunken fights, follies, and promises in my circle of friends, and that's well before "Whiskey Bottle" and "Outdone" hit the stereo.<br /><br />The first time I met these guys, I told them they reminded me of Metallica. That was the highest praise I could possibly give, but I don't believe it came across that way. In fact, I might as well have said they sounded like Michael Bolton.<br /><br /><strong>Urban Dance Squad - "Deeper Shade of Soul" (1990)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Very little is known about a trip I made with two (three?) of my buddies to see Urban Dance Squad at [unknown club] in New York.<br /><strong>We're sure that</strong> we were forcibly removed from the club before the band began, and at least two of us were wearing "U.D.S." promotional goggles/sunglasses for the event.<br /><strong>We think that</strong> tequila was consumed on the LIRR trip in, and one of us puked generously at Penn Station after the event, prompting the following exchange:<br />Cop: "Are you sick or just drunk?"<br />One of us: "Both!"<br /><strong>We fear that</strong> the three (four?) of us ordered Chinese food somewhere near 34th St., sat at a table with our food, dumped the food out on the table, ate some food, and then spat on the floor.<br /><br /><strong>Ultra Vivid Scene - "Special One" promo CD (1990)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No puking or Chinese food associated with this one. Features samples of "Funky Drummer," "When the Levee Breaks," and vocals by Kim Deal. Pure '90s.<br /><br /><strong>U2 - <em>Achtung Baby</em> (1991)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A completely underappreciated album. Five singles, a consistent sound and concept, and just plain fun. I mean, when's the last time someone had a meaningful discussion about how great<em> Achtung Baby</em> is?! Wait, it sold well over <em>twenty million</em> copies worldwide? Still underappreciated.<br /><br />I stole the CD single for "Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses" at Walt Whitman mall right before seeing Glengarry Glen Ross with a veritable drunken posse. I passed out at the beginning of the film, and woke up amongst my cackling friends, utterly confused and lonely.<br /><br /><strong>Urge Overkill - <em>The Supersonic Storybook</em> (1991)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wasn't right-away hip to the first two UO joints, but this one totally did it for me. Nothing more fun than indie rockers acting like megastars and pulling it off. Pretty fucking cool.<br /><br />My friend Kong and I had an ecclesiastical listen to "The Candidate" on about 1/3 malt liquor, 1/2 weed, and 1/6 cough syrup. We then agreed it was as trippy a song as we could remember, and we still agree to this day.<br /><br /><strong>Unrest - <em>Imperial f.f.r.r.</em> (1992)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Unrest was the opposite of Urge Overkill: shrewdly calculating indie rockers acting like indie rockers and pulling it off. They played their cards perfectly with well-placed 7" releases, deft steps along the indie label landscape, and finally a masterful full-length in the <em>Imperial</em> release. Irresistable high-energy pop ("Suki"), pretty drone songs (title track), perfect synthesis of the two ("I Do Believe You Are Blushing"), experimental/ragtag interludes ("Champion Nines," "Sugarshack"), gorgeous balladry ("Isabel"), and full-circle breakneck pop ("Cherry Cream On"). It really holds up, even if you're totally over the label hipster scene.<br /><br /><strong>Uncle Tupelo - <em>March 16-20, 1992</em> (1992)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No confusing this release with the label hipster scene, unless devastatingly depressing acoustic numbers about coal miners and bulldog gravy are your idea of "indie pop." The Tweedy numbers on this collection are like sprawling daydream-nightmares of America-- the musical equivalent of being crucified. That said, it's actually an enjoyable and even uplifting record ("Sandusky") that carries fond memories for me. Let's ignore the fact that we substituted the word "tussin" into key verses throughout nearly every selection on the album ("Lookin' for a sip of tussin... maybe a sip of mine..."). A nice record to pass out to with all the lights on.<br /><br /><strong>Urge Overkill - <em>Saturation</em> (1993)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Geffen finally gave the UO their big chance, and the rockstar act became reality... for a short while. This record sounds incredible, and there's at least four picture-perfect rockers on here. "Sister Havana" and "Positive Bleeding" were everywhere, and the hipsters that Urge used to have in their hip pockets started looking elsewhere.<br /><br />Maybe that's why "Dropout" was always my favorite on this record. It's a classic chillout number, kinda sounds like a demo, everyone holds up their lighters (not phones!), etc. I interpreted it as the end of the indie rock era, but that's just me.<br /><br /><strong>US3 - "Cantaloop" (1993)</strong>I just couldn't escape this god-forsaken song, everywhere I went. I even pocketed a promo of the damn thing hoping it might provide some sort of protection. Commercials, MTV shows, supermarkets, aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!<br /><br />I went to a friend's house for dinner (he will remain nameless, for several reasons), and he fucking put this song on just as we sat down to eat! In fact, he put on the whole damn record! When it happened a second time a few months later, I knew the US3 conspiracy was terrifyingly real.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>U2 - <em>Zooropa</em> (1993)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I was way too fucked up on several families of intoxicants during the summer this came out to say anything worthwhile about this album, but I know that I loved it to death. I had one of those 5-CD changers, and I used to sneak this one in there along with weirder instrumental stuff. <em>Zooropa</em> always held its own. At least, I think that's what I was listening to.<br /><br /><strong>Uncle Tupelo - Anodyne (1993)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Let's close things out with this one, the swan song for our beloved UT. I told anyone that still listened to me that this was their very best record, and I became so obsessed that I allegedly demanded that a future band of mine record our only proper studio record live in deference to <em>Anodyne</em> (I lost the banjo argument, but did manage to get violin on a few tunes).<br /><br />Once Uncle Tupelo lost the three-piece thing, they became something else. What exactly they became depends on whom you ask, but I'll just say "something else." I saw them at least four times on this tour, and I saw their very last regular set in Columbia, MO before the final pair at Mississippi Nights. Sounded like Jay was diddle-soloing over Jeff's verses, but I'll say for sure that the guys were ready to move on.<br /><br />I guess I was ready to move on, too. I quit my own three-piece band a few months later, and I did it at Cicero's in St. Louis, MO.</span>Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-91926215352267123772012-07-11T12:46:00.000-04:002012-07-11T12:55:21.758-04:00T is for Trip Shakespeare<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHPZAJmKtRWRBptchnRmrWQvWIj4pivNHb049CLKuzT5-z1B613-cqknLStnUfrtMnhW-58bxEMX5u9HIv5KsyPFA8SfIc8TKnt1od2SlJZCg5nnXWjfNHonAZNfdsAFhcHxWu94KvwgZK/s1600/MI0001911107.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img $ca="true" border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHPZAJmKtRWRBptchnRmrWQvWIj4pivNHb049CLKuzT5-z1B613-cqknLStnUfrtMnhW-58bxEMX5u9HIv5KsyPFA8SfIc8TKnt1od2SlJZCg5nnXWjfNHonAZNfdsAFhcHxWu94KvwgZK/s200/MI0001911107.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"You will find a weapon..."</span></td></tr>
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Talking Heads - <em>More Songs About Buildings and Food</em> (1978)</strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Not the one most people pick, which (I can't deny) makes me like it even more. I like the fact that it still sounds like a live band, except we've got Eno floating around overhead. He's kind of just observing, but occasionally breathes a cloud of synth-mist when he deems it appropriate.<br />These guys were absolutely ahead of their time, but also very much <em>in</em> their time.<br /><br /><strong>Talking Heads - <em>Remain in Light</em> (1980)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So fucking good... This is the one topping most lists. Hotshots galore (Belew, Nona Hendryx, Jon Hassell, Robert Palmer (!)), but that's just fine. A party album for wiseass dorks, but also a dark sonic tunnel for dopeheads. James Murphy was listening.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Teenage Fanclub - <em>A Catholic Education</em> (1990)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Not the one most people pick, which (I can't deny) has gotten me into more than a few ridiculous fights. "Everything Flows" is the best and most important song of '90s indie rock. Period.<br />I never thought of this as a pop record, despite coming from indie pop's "next big thing." When this record came out, I was blissfully slogging around in the sludgy morass of the day: anything from Seattle, <em>Ragged Glory</em>, <em>Goo</em>, as well as MBV, Ride, etc. The murkier the better.<br />"Everything Flows" emerged from the swamp like a beast of enlightenment, still a creature of the mud but clearly headed somewhere better. It also carried an entire album on its back, giving brilliant context to a collection of occasionally very good songs. We listen to the rest of <em>A Catholic Education</em> to reconcile our silly lives with the opening track.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Teenage Fanclub - <em>Bandwagonesque</em> (1991)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I popped in an advance cassette of this album sometime early in the fall of '91.<br />I was amongst friends and fans (not of me, of music), and sat seething in my chair as the pretty outro of "The Concept" slowly faded away. I then took the tape out and threw it across the room (did I really do that? not exactly sure) in disgust. What the fuck were the Fanclub doing? I proclaimed their new album to be "worse than <em>The King</em>" and drank myself stupid (did I really do that? probably). I even suggested that we were being duped by yet another throwaway album, and that the "real" new Teenage Fanclub record is still out there somewhere.<br />I eventually calmed down and learned that <em>Bandwagonesque</em> was almost perfect (except for the first two songs, since I <em>still</em> can't listen to "The Concept" with a straight mind). "I Don't Know" and "Star Sign" are all-time greats, and "Alcoholiday" became a life-anthem for my tightest group of friends at the time, albeit in a slightly revised form ("We've got nothin', let's drink tussin...").</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Television - <em>Marquee Moon</em> (1977)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was kinda young when I bought this one, and scrambled for reference points when I first heard it. I was certainly no stranger to guitar records, but this was from another universe. I was still under the impression that the Allmans Fillmore stuff was as far as two guitars could go, and the title track changed my mind. Funny, "Marquee Moon" and "You Don't Love Me" are more similar than anyone might imagine.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><br /></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Richard & Linda Thompson - <em>Shoot Out the Lights</em> (1982)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I bought the cassette of <em>Across a Crowded Room</em> right when it came out, after seeing the video for "When the Spell is Broken" (great fucking song). I wanted more, and some quick research (a book!) led me to <em>Shoot Out the Lights</em>. Blown away, I vowed never to buy another Dire Straits record after <em>Brothers In Arms</em>, which I had just bought.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Tortoise - <em>Millions Now Living Will Never Die</em> (1996)</strong>This is as much clean fun as one can possibly have with a clear conscience while listening to absurd math/post-rock from Chicago. I used to pronounce the pastiched masterpiece opening track ("Djed") as "JED" but with a slight hint of the D, kind of like DJIBOUTI. I am an idiot.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Trip Shakespeare - Are You Shakespearienced? (1989)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">This was the unanimous theme of a <a href="http://www.leemazzola.blogspot.com/search/label/Alaska" target="_blank">life-changing summer voyage</a> seven of us took to the largest state in the union. Most people don't really like this record, let alone love it like I always will. Guess you had to be there.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Pete Townshend - <em>Empty Glass</em> (1980)</strong> </span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I listened to this one on headphones on an early '80s family trip to California. Hearing "I Am an Animal" while driving up the coast was a profoundly formative experience, both musically and personally. Great songs, exquisite musicianship, and Pete's arrival as a vocalist. Oh yeah, the terrifying baring of a pained human soul as well.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>A Tribe Called Quest - <em>The Low End Theory</em> (1991)</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana;">It wasn't exactly a challenge to find a great rap record in 1991, but this one slammed like an upright bass over the back of your head. Not many got the "jazz" thing right in '90s hip-hop, and these guys nailed it down first and best.</span><br /><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Me and the "Alcoholiday" crew I referenced earlier blew the roof off a party in Providence with this joint. Our band had just moved to town, and we were slowly getting to know the local scenesters. We were finally invited to a party, and decided to bring this CD along with a few 40s. Not exactly revolutionary from our parts, but our party hosts eyed our entrance as if we'd walked in with Uzis and a pitbull.<br />What happened? Whaddya think-- we rocked the house, met some ladyfriends, and I think I walked home in the snow at six-in-tha-moooornin'.</span></span>Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-6963411804254775452012-06-26T23:44:00.000-04:002012-07-08T21:53:15.159-04:00S is for Stinking Lizaveta<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh Canada!!!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is getting ridiculous... I have way too many "S" albums. How 'bout I just pick ten of 'em?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wait! Check out this hilarious Saga "coupon" that came with my remastered CD of Worlds Apart! Can you imagine collecting 10 different Saga coupons?!! That would mean buying 10 different Saga albums.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So instead of ten Saga albums, here's ten great albums. No coupons, but I'll personally guarantee each one:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>DJ Shadow - <em>The Private Press </em>(2002)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maybe <em>Endtroducing...</em> is the better record, but I've listened to this one a lot more. Along with N*E*R*D's <em>In Search Of...</em>, some codeine and a few Ambiens, I made <em>The Private Press</em> an integral part of my "Shot Nights" in the wonderful summer of 2002. Both records seemed to magically change over the last few tracks (hmm...) and always mellowed me out (aaahhh...). Still waiting for Shadow to come back to Earth and make some great records again.<br /><br /><strong>Sonny Sharrock - <em>Ask The Ages</em> (1991)</strong><br />Beautiful, terrifying, and not the best record to spin when you're trying to get laid. Let's leave it at that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Paul Simon - <em>Greatest Hits, Etc.</em> (1977)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I thought this was about the coolest record I'd ever seen when I was a kid. Something about the soothing browns, the nice font with all the musicians on every song, and the amazing opening track that made me love it. I had no idea what Tony Levin or Steve Gadd even looked like at this point (thankfully), but I knew they were cool for sure. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My grandmother was a piano teacher at Manhattan School of Music, but didn't know diddly about 70s modern pop/rock. That didn't stop her from gently banging out tunes from the <em>Greatest Hits, Etc.</em> songbook while I tried to sing like Paulie. She even thought a few of the tunes were pretty good, but I can't remember which ones.</span><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Slayer - Reign In Blood (1986)</span></strong><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A strong candidate for the greatest record ever made. Name me another album that features a band tearing apart a six-pack of Stella Artois on the back cover. Oh, you actually found another one?! Now try to tell me it's better than <em>Reign In Blood</em>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Sly - <em>There's a Riot Goin' On</em> (1971)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sometimes it's annoying when a really depressing record is hailed a masterpiece because it's so depressing, right? I never found this one even remotely depressing, which is probably why I'm not a successful music critic. I boogied my cracker ass off listening to this masterpiece on a cassette Walkman next to some god-forsaken river in Alaska after drinking a full bottle of cough syrup for the first time... how's that for depressing?!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Bruce Springsteen - <em>Tunnel of Love</em> (1987)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This one's absolutely perfect. If I ever made a record this good I'd probably eat a live raccoon and puke in my pants. Five, count 'em, five hit singles!</span><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Spoon - <em>A Series of Sneaks </em>(1998)</span></strong><br />
<a href="http://www.leemazzola.blogspot.com/2011/04/bargain-bin.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">ialreadywroteaboutthisone</span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Squeeze - <em>Singles 45's and Under</em> (1982)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When's the last time you listened to this whole thing start to finish? Do it and report back to me, please. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Steely Dan - <em>The Royal Scam</em> (1976)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yeah, yeah, fucking <em>Aja</em>, blah blah, <em>Can't Buy A Thrill</em>, yeah, yeah, I love 'em all. But this one has "Kid Charlemagne" and "Green Earrings" on it.<br /><br /><strong>The Stooges - <em>Fun House</em> (1970)</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Me and my buddy Kong woke up on the floor in the early morning after a house party in Westchester, and immediately started drinking the leftover beer. We cranked <em>Fun House</em> and started stumbling/slamming into each other, infuriating dozens of hungover former friends. Punk rock.</span>Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-57589162959190513642012-05-11T22:44:00.002-04:002012-06-26T22:10:33.302-04:00R is for Red Hot Chili Peppers<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Lee, why don't you write any more?"</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">County Fair, Watertown, NY</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well, I ran out of drugs. I can't write for shit unless I'm a little tickled under the old hood, y'know? Wish it wasn't true, but it is. I've never written a decent song without a little help from me frenz, and same goes for whatever they call this sort of baloney. Anyway...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't like Radiohead at all. I hated "Creep" and never gave the poor blokes a fair shake from then on. I'm more than willing to classify them as a good band, but I just don't like them. I've called <em>OK Computer</em> a piece of shit at least a hundred times, and I meant it every time.<br /><br />That's what's so great about music (and movies, TV, sports, and most other things), right? We can hate stuff that we know is "good" and not look like complete idiots. This is what separates us from primates and computers, from what I understand.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That said, Raekwon's <em>Only Built 4 Cuban Linx</em> is one of the very best records of the '90s. I couldn't wait for this one to arrive back in 1995, and I was lucky enough to snag a CD promo of "Criminology"/"Glaciers of Ice" a bit early. This single kicked my faggotty ass in such a profound way that I'm still in artists' therapy. The A-side is like nothing I've heard before or since-- way off the map in every which way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Criminology" opens with standard Sosa/Montana shit, soon followed by a musical stampede of elephants and rhinoceroses. The majestic chorus of horns and drums brings us to late 19th century Africa, something like a Mingus interpretation of the ivory trade. Before we can say "pith hat" we're rudely shifted into a completely different world for the first verse.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rae's hilarious "Julio Iglesias" scat provides little comfort, as a stark, tubularly metallic riff ("Hell's xylophone," I originally dubbed it) threatens to suck out our souls. Imagine an Escher-style escalator with razor blades for steps, and you're getting warmer (meaning colder). Dorothy, we're not in the Belgian Congo anymore. Ghostface reacts appropriately with a ferocious verse that I'm not sure I understand, which is more than fine with me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But the quick fade from Africa to Hell reveals the true horror of this track: the underlying drum track. The elephant stampede beat is solid as a rock, but the escalator beat staggers along like a three-legged baby okapi. It's downright pathetic. RZA made sure the kick don't quite fall on the one, and the snare most definitely misses the three. This beat's certainly not safari-worthy, and might not even make it down the driveway to pick up the mail.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The elephants return when Ghost finishes, but seconds later they're gone. Rae's verse kicks in, with enough classic lines to generate an entire Mobb Deep album's worth of choruses. By now we're settling in somewhat, resigned to the back-and-forth between stampedes and verses. We're gonna make it!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Unfortunately, there is no third chorus. Instead, RZA makes one of the more profane arranger/producer decisions since Todd Rundgren's <em>A Wizard, A True Star</em>: he actually "gives the drummer some." Problem is, he goes with the crippled okapi drummer instead of the elephants! This guy can't even see straight, let alone get people on the dance floor. Yes, the first single off Raekwon's debut album contains a drum solo. Too bad his kick drum's flamming like an old sneaker and his snare sounds like a box of cereal.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The track mercifully starts winding down at around 3:10, reaching some sort of musical resolution. All track elements are reunited for the fadeout, as the stampede of horns charges side by side with the metallic nightmare and disabled drummer, who throws in some fancy syncopation with two seconds left... certainly too little, too late.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Don't even get me started on "Glaciers of Ice."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wanna sound like an idiot? Tell people that you like the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I mean, tell your hipster "music" friends you like 'em or even just liked 'em. With few exceptions, you'll be kicked out of the conversation or abandoned completely.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Like Phil Collins, the Chili Peppers have dug their own undeserved grave. I suppose one might say they deserve the grave because they chose to dig it themselves, but in truth the plot was already reserved for them long before they broke ground. In other words, they were destined for hatred and didn't really give a shit. The fact that they actually became worldwide superstars despite their... OK, this isn't making sense.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">RHCP were one of the best bands in the world in the mid-80s. If you saw them play a club with less than 500 people inside, you're not arguing with me. Maybe a dozen bands combined punk rock and musicianship to the degree we're talking about here: Bad Brains, Minutemen, Gang of Four (maybe)... but how many were all about fun? Like, partying fun. No politics, no rules, and definitely no clams onstage.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Flea made the Red Hot Chili Peppers great, and not just fun. I know he's like a cartoon character at this point, but you had to take him absolutely seriously as a musician and force of nature back then. Were the songs good? Not really. Were things done in good taste? Never. What about the vocals? Easily top 5 technically worst singers of all time. But Flea (and by extension, the rest of the band) played so well that you couldn't ignore it, but so hard that you'd get knocked on your ass if you stopped to watch. Charles fucking Barkley.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Crowds at Chili Peppers shows got a bit dangerous. Before you begin lecturing on your high horse, I'm talking about the crossover factor; the whole frat punk thing. You had lots of drunk guys going to their first "punk rock" show, and losing their shit when some sweaty dude with a shaved head knocked their ass on the floor while they were trying to watch some music and maybe get laid. The "code" was lost and stupid fights replaced the occasional elbow in the back of your head. Oops.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Regardless, Flea's more than OK in my book. Mike Watt's cool for cool people; Flea's cool for himself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So <em>everyone</em> knows about Raymond and Peter now, but there was actually a time when <em>Shut Up Little Man!</em> was considered underground. Easily one of the best recordings of the early '90s... I enjoyed the holy hell out of this thing with </span><a href="http://hspussy.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">HSPussy</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> for countless hours. If you want to learn something about the depths of humanity, here's a good place to start.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><em></em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><em><br />Luck of the Draw</em> by Bonnie Raitt contains two of my favorite songs of all time. I've attempted both on karaoke stages, much to Brooklyn's chagrin.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />Ramones.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />Umm, I'm noticing that people talk about Otis Redding a bit less each year. Go buy something by the man (in a store!) and do something about this disturbing trend.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />Now I get to talk about Lou Reed. What a fucking wacko. His records are as infuriating as the Velvets' stuff is great. I've come to the conclusion that Lou has ingeniously calculated and executed his entire career with the sole intention of frustrating his listeners. Sorry, but his "challenging" works along with his outright garbage just aren't outweighed by the rewards. I own pretty much all of his rock records, and I'll listen to <em>Blue Mask</em>, <em>Rock'n'Roll Animal</em> if I'm drunk, and about seven other cuts from the rest of his catalogue. The rest can go to hell.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />Hey, don't forget about <em>Pop Beloved</em> by the Reivers!</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />I can still listen to either of R.E.M.'s first two records (or <em>Chronic Town</em>) at any moment and love them as much as ever. <em>Fables</em> sort of pisses me off, and <em>Pageant</em> is great but I don't really enjoy it as much as I used to. The rest can go to hell.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I love people that get wasted and start fights at parties talking shit about the Replacements. I truly adore this small subset of my address book.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm fairly certain that I once accidentally played <em>Romantic Warrior</em> by Return to Forever while trying to hook up with a girl and completely blew the gig. Like, I never saw the girl again.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />I could bore the boxers off everyone on earth if I went on and on about how and why DJ Pete Rock makes my day, but I probably shouldn't. If you still don't believe that rap's the most innovative genre of our lifetimes, maybe you should spend a little time with this man.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />Christ, the Stones too? I thought <em>Big Hits...</em> and <em>Out of Our Heads</em> were the coolest records ever when I was about 9 or 10 years old (I didn't realize the former was a collection). I used to stare at those album covers for hours.<br /><br />I stared at a few Roxy Music album covers too, but not in quite the same way. My wife and I rarely actually listen to them together, but they're kind of an intense musical bond for us. Just the idea and sound of them is something we'll always understand and share.<br /><br />I hope I don't need to explain my feelings about </span><a href="http://www.leemazzola.blogspot.com/search/label/Rush" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Rush</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> to everyone reading this. Every once in a while I get a request to reprint my lost review of <em>Signals</em>, which I simply cannot do. I accidentally erased it while writing "live" on MySpace, or so I assume. The only thing left from that Friday night disaster was a piece of looseleaf with some scrawled notes and what appear to be forgery attempts of Andre Dawson's signature. This I can't explain.</span></div>Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-38175464118240396842012-03-23T15:28:00.000-04:002012-03-23T15:28:10.956-04:00Private Contour (6.30.11)<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Since I've been appallingly slow with my "R is for Romantics" entry, I figure the least I can do is share one of my recent works of art with you. The piece below, entitled "Private Contour," is a series of chronologically consecutive photographs taken over an interval of 12 minutes. The shots were spaced randomly over said interval, and were activated using a "fabric friction" technique; no photos were taken manually (using hands). The fabric used was 100% polyester.</span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6j68XQ16NkUNYICmnJfOJ0DlJCQCP7xnQ1zX-z7A7kTU-4TV1Tuc-ZoeaAwaymbwUCa1PtA2oMnjGZuvwDXWm7Qqot74_MT7flbT99vk-tTTjSUuhsFC5sgcTBaMXKEqti5EZ7PcvSA3t/s1600/private+contours.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" height="484" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6j68XQ16NkUNYICmnJfOJ0DlJCQCP7xnQ1zX-z7A7kTU-4TV1Tuc-ZoeaAwaymbwUCa1PtA2oMnjGZuvwDXWm7Qqot74_MT7flbT99vk-tTTjSUuhsFC5sgcTBaMXKEqti5EZ7PcvSA3t/s640/private+contours.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-58334550072366564362012-02-23T21:24:00.000-05:002012-02-23T21:24:10.618-05:00[^:^]<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Still working on my stupid "R is for Raging Slab" entry... I'm considering changing my approach.<br />
<br />
Not much else to report. It's been totally dead here in New York! Dying for baseball to start so there's something to be excited about sportswise.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In the meantime, I sure am enjoying the new Cosell book. Unbelievable guy. The image of Howard dragging a 50-pound tape recorder around scrounging up interviews is pretty great. That and puking all over Keith Jackson's pants in the <em>MNF</em> booth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Too tired to chew. G'night.</span>Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-44823812900527304612012-01-07T21:43:00.002-05:002012-01-08T20:59:58.105-05:00Q is for Quarterflash<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&sa=X&tbm=isch&tbnid=8rqyagqtLpZl6M:&imgrefurl=http://kearth101.radio.com/2011/11/09/did-you-know-harden-my-heart-by-quarterflash/&docid=Mg0TxAd_JWAC1M&imgurl=http://cbskrth.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/quarterflash.jpg%253Fw%253D385%2526h%253D240%2526crop%253D1&w=385&h=240&ei=5gEJT-eQDuPz0gGNzLlz&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=589&vpy=150&dur=94&hovh=177&hovw=284&tx=118&ty=98&sig=103027346545340324730&page=8&tbnh=136&tbnw=218&start=105&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:13,s:105&biw=1024&bih=710" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="195" rea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiob9biUyRVK06fGasMqRfjmw80aKQBohXGJHKUA8qA3UBZNjcJ82l5ldIRwh7pOnEzA56XSAQUuLaJ92BupZxE5ZxEtRKBKURXhTNjf7E14ByXP7NwNGxjE9-ytN6jVPdbhekE9Zr-F2UE/s200/qflash.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yes I own this on CD.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The story of Quarterflash is one of the strangest and most tragic in rock history. The Portland, OR outfit was big locally in the late 70s under their original Seafood Mama moniker, and became Quarterflash in 1980. Led by Rindy Ross (vocals, saxophone) and her husband, Marv (guitar), the band went nationwide with a newly recorded version of "Harden My Heart" (a Seafood Mama staple) and their self-titled LP on Geffen. "Heart" went to #8, the follow-up "Find Another Fool" hit #16, and the group's alliteration-fueled fortunes seemed destined for the top of the charts.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, this #1 came with a bullet. Rindy Ross was mysteriously found dead in the garage of her band's road manager and accountant, Anthony Muskie. No murder weapon was ever recovered, although stories swirled involving Muskie and husband Marv Ross as co-conspirators. Her 1982 slaying remains unsolved.<br />
<br />
Lost in the tragedy were the master tapes of <em>Quarterflash</em>'s successor, which has languished in legal limbo for almost thirty years. Next to nothing is known about the double album <em>Coho</em> (alternately titled "Kohoe"), as the surviving Ross has possession of the only known session recordings. Anecdotal reports generally describe the record as brilliant, and similar to <em>Tusk</em> in style and sound. The reformed touring version of Quarterflash, which features replacement singer and sax player Melinda Ross (who married Marv Ross in 1985), has maintained marginal success since the scandal and has yet to perform a single track from the <em>Coho</em> sessions.</span> <br />
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</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">OK, this story is complete bullshit... but I did in fact have a crazy dream about Quarterflash once. I really do like their first record, but I guess it ends there.<br />
<br />
So I've been using a fucking cane for over a month now. After a few awkward days with the cane, I formed the following thoughts:</span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana;">1) <em>I'm gonna lose this thing in no time.</em> I'm terrible with umbrellas, something like -73 all time. You'd think a cane would be really easy to just prop up when you're not using it, but it ain't. They fall on the subway all the time, skitter down the aisle on the bus, and are absolute nightmares in public rest rooms. Plus my kids love to run around the house with it.<br />
2) <em>I'm now walking the streets of New York with a weapon at all times.</em> My cane's lightweight, but I'm pretty sure I could fuck up a smartmouth kid or a slenderly built woman with it. At worst, I can do some real damage to someone's windpipe before I'm arrested or beaten to a pulp.<br />
3) <em>This thing's really gonna get dirty</em>. It's being literally dragged through the streets of a filthy city. Am I supposed to clean it when I get home? Run it under a hose? Nobody tells you things like this when you become disabled.<br />
<br />
Oh yeah, any ideas about feeling sort of cool in an aristocratic kind of way are total bullshit. Anyone that uses a cane without a real reason is an idiot, and that goes for Mr. Peanut, Pete Nice, and all the Droogs.<br />
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You'd have to be insane to not love the insanely great tapes of DJ Q-Bert. I have the <em>Demolition Pumpkin Squeeze Music</em> one on CD, and I do in fact love it.<br />
<br />
I'm not quite as crazy about Quasimodo, although I really do like the tracks (and Madlib, etc.). I can't stand the vocals, which is probably why I strongly prefer the instrumental version of <em>The Unseen</em>.<br />
<br />
I love the music and vocals of Quasi, who I know I saw at Brownie's and probably a few other places I can't remember. A truly unique band. Unfortunately, my advance copy of <em>Featuring "Birds"</em> has some kind of dark epoxy-like resin stuck to the bottom of it-- four of its tracks were deemed unimportable by iTunes. Making matters worse, the song "Birds" was one of the damaged tracks, so I guess the whole concept of the album is shot.<br />
<br />
I rarely listen to my Queens of the Stone Age CDs, and I can't seem to find <em>any</em> of my Queen CDs. I probably had three, and I sure did like them. Please advise if you borrowed or bought any Queen CDs from me.<br />
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Oh yeah, I once won a bet with a 13-year-old kid by successfully whistling the bridge to "Oochie Wally" by QB's Finest. I would probably be in jail if I actually recited the lyrics to the child, but whistling was just fine.</span><br />
<img height="94" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiob9biUyRVK06fGasMqRfjmw80aKQBohXGJHKUA8qA3UBZNjcJ82l5ldIRwh7pOnEzA56XSAQUuLaJ92BupZxE5ZxEtRKBKURXhTNjf7E14ByXP7NwNGxjE9-ytN6jVPdbhekE9Zr-F2UE/s200/qflash.jpg" style="filter: alpha(opacity=30); left: 600px; mozopacity: 0.3; opacity: 0.3; position: absolute; top: 20px; visibility: hidden;" width="96" />Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-40140418767237839272012-01-05T22:42:00.002-05:002012-01-14T21:32:27.036-05:00P is for Police<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pretty pathetic, huh? My newfound <em>free time to work on stuff I haven't had time for, like my blog</em> doesn't quite seem to be happening. I guess the holidays, being a little sick, etc. has made a nice excuse for not doing jack shit on this self-aggrandizing CD collection idea. I humbly beg your forgiveness and ask to you screw yourself at the same time.<br />
<br />
Imagine my delight when Pansy Division's music pops up as I'm flipping through the Ps! My old band had the privilege of playing with these guys, who apparently were/are mutual fans... One of those "somebody out there actually likes us" moments for a touring band starting to lose their minds on the road.<br />
<br />
Remember Paris? No, the rapper you eediot! I loved driving around in my van listening to the 12" mixes of "The Days of Old" back in the old days, like any white guy would. I guess being a big fan of Paris instrumental tracks doesn't exactly put me on any FBI lists, but damn if I won't slam "Bush Killa" through my speakers without warning. I'll do it!!!<br />
<br />
An inordinate amount of space on my hard drive seems to be expended on a dude named Anders Parker, who I may or may not have played drums with at some point. If you're reading this and have somehow never listened to his music, by all means do so (and let me know how you possibly found this blog!). If you're reading this and are familiar with the guy, check out a piece of his music you don't usually listen to and remember how good it is. If you're not reading this and are a fan of his music, click <a href="http://www.onelargeprawn.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2009/middle_finger.jpg">here</a>.<br />
<br />
I was going to make a stupid joke involving Graham Parker and Charlie Parker, but decided against it.<br />
<br />
Here's a challenge for all you readers: acquire the first six or seven Alan Parsons records (just don't go past <em>Ammonia Avenue</em>, whatever you do), listen to each a few times, and create a 60-minute mix of the very best stuff and mail it to me. This isn't a joke! I think anyone that does this can generate a collection superior than the ones out there now, and I just don't have time to do it. There lots of great stuff to find!<br />
<br />
Pavement had already peaked by the time <em>S & E</em> came out, and were long gone for <em>Crooked Rain</em>. Pearl Jam, on the other hand, have released over 200 records since <em>Ten</em>.<br />
<br />
I used to take Ambien and listen to Penguin Café Orchestra, and then groove to the <em>Peshay</em> CD. No really.<br />
<br />
I'm missing at least eight Pink Floyd titles on disc: <em>Saucerful...</em>, <em>More</em>, <em>Meddle</em>, <em>Ummagumma</em>, <em>Animals</em>, <em>WYWH</em>, and a bunch of other ones. Was I really so broke/stupid/drunk/cool in the 90s that I traded all these in for an 18-pack of Stroh's?<br />
<br />
So it's pretty cool that the Police made just five proper records and got the hell out, huh? I don't really care much about <em>Outlandos</em>, but I think <em>Regatta de Blanc (The White Boat)</em> kicks some ass. Stewart Copeland is a phenomenally underrated drummer. Sure, his name comes up any time a bunch of dorks start talking about great drummers, but have you really listened to him?! A true five-tool banger: chops, power, innovation, sound, and attitude. Any three tracks from <em>Zenyatta Mondatta</em> will cover the spread.<br />
<br />
But my favorite is easily <em>Ghost in the Machine</em>. They clearly lost their minds on this one... Andy Summers was cozying up to Fripp in his spare time and Sting was about five French phrases away from exploding into pretentious oblivion (or oblivious pretension). <em>Ghost</em> is part of the extraordinary Class of 1981, along with <em>Abacab</em>, <em>Discipline</em>, and <em>Moving Pictures</em>. <em>By the power vested in me by the region of Long Island, I now declare you professors of Prog-Rock-Pop... ["Long Distance Runaround" plays as the graduates file out of the auditorium]</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You know, Robert Plant wasn't too far behind the aforementioned geniuses. <em>Pictures at Eleven</em> was a bit cloddish, I suppose (with the exception of B-side "Far Post" LOVE IT!!!), but <em>Principle of Moments</em> is a true accomplishment. Percy manages to create an ambient rock album devoid of any life whatsoever. It's New Order to Joy Division's Zeppelin.<br />
<br />
I have DJ Premier filed under P because it's asinine to have all these "DJ" artists all lined up like a bunch of idiots. Also because he's probably the best working DJ out there.<br />
<br />
I put "2000 Miles" on a Christmas mix I made last month, and reminded myself just how awesome the Pretenders used to be. By the time I actually caught them live they had dudes with freaking dreadlocks in the band. I guess it was either that or more heroin addicts? Anyway, first record is pure genius, second is half genius and a member of the "We guarantee you'll skip the first song when it's convenient" club, and the third is really good but sort of empty and sad at the same time.<br />
<br />
Do I really have to explain my relationship with Prince? OK, everything's perfect until <em>Lovesexy</em> and after that I refuse to even discuss it.<br />
<br />
These Ps just never end! I already discussed <em>Nation of Millions</em> in my treatment of the <a href="http://www.leemazzola.blogspot.com/2011/05/c-is-for-cavedogs.html">Cs</a>, but I'll add that Public Enemy means of heckuva lot to me. When Chuck D made eye contact with me and said "Alright..." as I was dragged around the side of the stage and dumped out the back of the Civic Center like Anthrax's empty pizza box, I knew I'd sleep well for years to come.</span>Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-3909371920879048672011-12-09T23:20:00.004-05:002011-12-09T23:24:43.519-05:00O is for Outkast<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Os ain't exactly a treasure trove of great tunes, but we do have our moments here. Outkast is one of the more obvious ones, of course.<br />
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Pick five people at random from a crowd of people and ask each of them what their favorite Outkast record is, and you're likely to get five different responses. I've never actually tried this, but I'm pretty sure it would happen. Maybe the hipsters pick <em>ATLiens</em>, the hardcore pick <em>Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik</em>, critics love <em>Aquemini</em>, but I just can't ignore <em>Stankonia</em>. Sure, the critics love <em>Stankonia</em> too, but let's be honest here: it's a goddamn masterpiece. Period.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4Wg8JaZZ0p8-u3yEOuLBjspZyDfWH_vh2yblLk5iKiRjwFIgBYOALrDBGWihoYAESMWjQF1n4bblHrd8DJ7YepKG2Plv9eCjmvgIgtnktnApFczJCYbW-L7s0yLxYfXIxH1n_5dO322wC/s1600/sinead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="133" mda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4Wg8JaZZ0p8-u3yEOuLBjspZyDfWH_vh2yblLk5iKiRjwFIgBYOALrDBGWihoYAESMWjQF1n4bblHrd8DJ7YepKG2Plv9eCjmvgIgtnktnApFczJCYbW-L7s0yLxYfXIxH1n_5dO322wC/s200/sinead.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ripping up her record contract</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><em>Return to the 36 Chambers</em> is a masterpiece too, even if it got overshadowed by the brilliance of <em>Cuban Linx</em>, <em>Liquid Swords</em>, and whatever your favorite Ghostface record is. Flip on the ODB when you're lazy kind of stoned, and you won't argue much.<br />
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Boy do I love Roy Orbison! I'd like to surgically remove the Travelling Wilburys from our cultural existence, but that's not his fault. It's also not his fault that his divider card read "Roy Oribson" at the record store I worked at for years (my co-favorite along with "Mary J Bilge").<br />
<br />
Let's pay tribute to Onyx, shall we? I have countless hazy but wonderful memories of throwing "Slam" on and watching everyone bounce up and down like morons, splashing malt liquor all over whoever's house I was in. I also made the mistake of cueing up "Blac Vagina Finda" at a few parties, resulting in my immediate ejection.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Who remembers Sin<span style="font-family: Arial;">é</span>ad O'Connor</span>?!! Talk about here one day gone five years later... anyone out there own a </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">copy of 2003's <em>She Who Dwells in the Secret Place of the Most High Shall Abide Under the Shadow of the Almighty</em>? I saw ol' cueball at Jones Beach way back, and she really knew how to piss off a crowd. Cursed like a fuckin' sailor, too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Speaking of women named O'Connor with ridiculously great voices, I hope you all check out or have already checked out Jennifer O'Connor's stuff. <em>The Color and the Light</em>'s my favorite, but don't let me change your mind about anything. JOC's a real good person too.</span><br />
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</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyone know what happened my Orb CDs?</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: right;"></div>Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-8826268339161844652011-11-20T22:33:00.002-05:002011-11-21T09:53:59.696-05:00Lulu<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3cdwemUpH_icWJkKWuHye8W8x-YqEBhqOtJKjE7rr5RwZYca-Zd6bCZ7lvg0PoDy2P5Mf3dGf3I5CSeTL-tki3sfd2FU8HuQGARbW5qhqawuGcTsf9nalz-FE4G1UhKjem1UThKSr2dA/s1600/anton_01_t.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3cdwemUpH_icWJkKWuHye8W8x-YqEBhqOtJKjE7rr5RwZYca-Zd6bCZ7lvg0PoDy2P5Mf3dGf3I5CSeTL-tki3sfd2FU8HuQGARbW5qhqawuGcTsf9nalz-FE4G1UhKjem1UThKSr2dA/s200/anton_01_t.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Didn't they know they'd stain the carpet?</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A friend of mine recently came uptown to visit me and my kids and gave me a burned copy of <em>Lulu</em>, the collaboration between Lou Reed and Metallica. I'm pretty sure there are hundreds of burned <em>Lulu</em> CDs in fireplaces and incinerators across the country, but this one was actually meant to be listened to. It was also the only way in hell that I was going to devote any measure of time whatsoever to this ill-conceived, God-forsaken hunk of baloney.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">This morning I boarded an M5 bus with about four passengers on it (no, this is not a math problem) and headed down RSD to go see the new Herzog documentary. Seeing as I was in a rather morbid mood, I decided to give <em>Lulu</em> a try at full volume. Turns out that the opening track "Brandenburg Gate" is really fucking good. In fact, I think it's a masterpiece. I've only listened to it twice, but you can quote me on this one.</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Surely Lee's putting us on here, or setting us up for some kind of cruel joke... Right?</span></em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Nope, it really is brilliant. The rest of the record is absolute horseshit, which I'll get into a bit later. But "Brandenburg Gate" is seriously as good a track as this cursed partnership could conceivably produce. Let's pretend (wish?) we've never heard the record before, and list all the possible ways <em>Lulu</em> could have turned out:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">1) Straight up Metallica riffs with Lou jive-talking semi-randomly on top. In other words, they each do their normal thing. [this is pretty much what the record is]</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">2) Atmospheric, highbrow artsy shit with occasional Reed-prose and metal/feedback bursts. Or, Metallica gets outside their box and Lou does his thing. [they do this on the record a bit as well]</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">3) <em>Metallica Machine Music</em>: Lou talks the Four Horsemen into an instrumental noise record, and immediately disowns and trashes the project upon its release, resulting in lengthy lawsuits by Metallica and Reed moving to Indonesia. [unfortunately not the case]</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">4) The five dudes just plug in and plow through a <em>Ragged Glory</em>-style sludge-cycle, bringing their individual strengths to the table but smashing their own tried & tired templates in the process. ["Brandenburg Gate"]</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I have absolutely no idea what <em>Lulu</em> is supposed to be about (sounds like it has something to do with a girl, who might be a slut or possibly a masochist), so I don't really care about the lyrics a whole lot. I will say that Lou, in classic form, manages to outdo any parody/imitation of himself that anyone might throw at him. Ever think you're hilariously clever by pretending to be Lou Reed singing songs by other artists? Give it up, homeboy. Leatherface himself tops all with his "You are my Goliath... you are my Goliath" mantra on "Mistress Dread."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I'm not going to waste anyone's time ripping apart tracks 2 through 10 on <em>Lulu</em>, because any idiot with two ear canals can do it themselves. I'm just overjoyed that at the very least, if only for 4 minutes and 19 seconds, these numbskulls came up with something really exciting. Hey, maybe <em>Lulu</em> will spawn more absurd "mash-downs" in the near future? How about Randy Newman and King Crimson with their new release, <em>Hollywood Serpent</em>? Have you heard the new Al Jarreau & Yo La Tengo collaboration on Matador Records? I think it's called <em>There Is A Street And Its Name Is Bop</em>.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-48695593661124221232011-11-08T20:15:00.001-05:002011-11-08T20:19:16.335-05:00N is for Nas<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tough to talk about the N section of my music collection without Nas coming up. He's easily got the most pieces, although Naughty By Nature's pretty damn close (how the hell did that happen?). No, I don't own the Nirvana box set.<br />
<br />
<em>Illmatic</em> put Nas in the hip-hop pantheon for life, and rightfully so. There were plenty of great rap records in the 90s that were more daring, more groundbreaking, or just more plain old fun, but <em>Illmatic</em>'s the critical purist's dream. Smart, street, <em>lean</em>, and great fucking beats.</span><br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2x3cdGOvKa792yxaFs3cDA_E6cd43Kw1FqR8QruDO5VuFsOgs7FQOucU8zdmMwTPnVucP_w2EoCJs4WWzlbsT6NiTxiORs3qUQD8QamuCgYQ2ILU0wvPNiR1KGI47Wl_-40_oxJQcDsSc/s1600/nosferatu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" ida="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2x3cdGOvKa792yxaFs3cDA_E6cd43Kw1FqR8QruDO5VuFsOgs7FQOucU8zdmMwTPnVucP_w2EoCJs4WWzlbsT6NiTxiORs3qUQD8QamuCgYQ2ILU0wvPNiR1KGI47Wl_-40_oxJQcDsSc/s200/nosferatu.jpg" width="140" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Max Schreck puttin' heads to bed.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">No surprise that "Dr. Knockboots" never made another perfect record again. One could make a great mix of highlights from the rest of his career (and more than one of these exist), but that's about it. Maybe he'll be the Dallas Braden of rap... well, probably not.<br />
<br />
Much more interesting to imagine the future Nas nicknames. Ever since <em>Nastradamus</em> dropped (I think I dropped mine in the garbage once), me and my boy Grit (keep ya head up, kid!) have been passing moniker-morphs back'n forth:<br />
<br />
<em><strong>Nasferatu</strong></em> - Vampires are still trending, right? This could be dope! <em>My long fingernails scratching in the night... I ain't a snitch but yo my bitches I might bite</em>... Some creepy Gravediggaz-style beats and this thing's on, although we just missed Halloween.<br />
<br />
<em><strong>NasDAQ</strong></em> "Toolz Of Tha Trade" - Might be a little tricky, but maybe some sort of anti-OccupyWallStreet angle?<br />
<br />
<strong><em>Da Planet UraNas</em></strong> - A trip through the solar system, perhaps a different producer for each planet?<br />
<br />
<strong><em>Goin' BanaNas</em></strong> - Full-on rap comedy album; could probably resurrect a few careers with this one, but likely to end his own.<br />
<br />
<em><strong>Entre Nas</strong></em> - All French production team, maybe a lounge-electronica kind of vibe? Guest spot by Wyclef? Anybody still reading?<br />
<br />
I always considered myself a fan of Napalm Death, but I can't find a single one of their recordings in my home. I think this officially makes me a poser.<br />
<br />
I could write for hours about N*E*R*D, but I have nowhere near the amount of drugs this would require. Same goes for Neu!, Neurosis, and New Order.<br />
<br />
Oh yeah, Nirvana. Am I the only one that listens to <em>Nevermind</em> and wishes it sounded like <em>In Utero</em>, and then listens to <em>In Utero</em> and wishes the songs were as good as <em>Nevermind</em>?<br />
<br />
The <em>Nuggets</em> box rules. Those who say, "Yeah, but I'm just not into that kind of stuff..." should stand facing a mirror with their entire record collection behind them and say, "I guess I'm just not into rock and roll."</span>Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3895820970877872184.post-79775578752494134262011-10-29T21:54:00.001-04:002011-10-29T21:59:41.802-04:00In Defense of Phil Collins<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEZF3Igi4064foxCq63WI9lJErJ8ELlWMcYmLc9fja_cc9Xul0MqCeQ8GoxGStakJos8UCohXOicfl0BZc7w0p8PSMPVRcyWD2StIk5MYXkpOfHnTWgU5g48v6IQwcQs50WYkq4_q6a0ql/s1600/220px-Paperlate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" ida="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEZF3Igi4064foxCq63WI9lJErJ8ELlWMcYmLc9fja_cc9Xul0MqCeQ8GoxGStakJos8UCohXOicfl0BZc7w0p8PSMPVRcyWD2StIk5MYXkpOfHnTWgU5g48v6IQwcQs50WYkq4_q6a0ql/s200/220px-Paperlate.jpg" width="198" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What were they doing?</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At some point in the 1980s, the words <em>Phil Collins</em> became interchangeable with <em>sellout</em>, <em>lame</em>, <em>bad</em>, or simply <em>uncool</em>. I'm here to argue that there was actually a time when Phil Collins might have been the <em>coolest</em> guy in the business.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I'd say things started going sour for Phil in 1986 (<em>Invisible Touch</em>, "Land of Confusion" video) or possibly late 1985 ("Separate Lives" and general fallout from <em>No Jacket Required</em>). Of course, I mean <em>artistically</em> sour; PC's bank was as sweet as dew on the vine at this point. He was turning mere over-exposure into hyper-exposure, and alienating even his ficklest fans. By the end of the decade, we were left convincing ourselves that drivel like "Throwing It All Away" and "One More Night" wasn't all that bad.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Friends, it wasn't always this way. Phil was a world class banger through the entire early 70s, as any objective listen to <em>Nursery Cryme</em>, <em>Selling England...</em> or <em>Lamb</em> will verify. That's not really news to the casual music fan... most people would admit, "Yeah, I know his drums were pretty good on the Peter Gabriel Genesis stuff, but..."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Hold it right there. The drums on <em>Trick of the Tail </em>and <em>W & W</em> are awesome, so it had nothing to do with Gabriel's hip factor. In fact, Phil already had a resum<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">é</span> that was way cooler than PG could even dream of until he hooked up with Fripp. Let's look at some of Phil's extracurricular work so far:</span><br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Eno's <em>Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy)</em>, <em>Another Green World</em>, <em>Before and After Science</em>: PC does a nice job on <em>Tiger Mountain</em>, but positively kills it on <em>Green World</em> and <em>BAAS</em>. Those records aren't the same without him.<br />
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Brand X: Take it or leave it, but pretty awesome to have a legitimate experimental jazz fusion outfit on the side of your arena-level prog rock band. Great drums, and a few make-you-puke-up-your-tussin-it's-so-nuts tracks give Brand X the stamp of approval.<br />
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Not bad, eh? Phil kept in touch with his UK art-rock pals right into the early 80s, and hit the session jackpot with his work on his old mate's <em>Peter Gabriel</em> record in 1980. <em>PG</em> ironically gave birth to the "Phil Collins drum sound" and countless radio hours over the decade. The sound also opened the gate (ugh!) for Phil's demise, as his "big" period ("In the Air Tonight," "I Don't Care Anymore," <em>Something's Going On</em>, <em>Behind the Sun</em>, <em>Pictures at Eleven</em>, "Easy Lover" etc.) made good songs great and made bad songs really fucking annoying.<br />
<br />
Phil was the undisputed king of the parking lot from '81 to '83, and here's why:<br />
<em>Face Value </em>- the quintessential drummer does it all, bad marriage solo record.<br />
<em>Abacab</em> - one of the most underrated records of the 1980s, co-defines prog-pop with <em>Ghost in the Machine</em> and <em>Moving Pictures</em>.<br />
<em>Hello, I Must Be Going!</em> - even darker than <em>Face Value</em>, and is 50% perfect (not bad!).<br />
<em>Pictures At Eleven</em> - "Far Post." Nuff said.<br />
"I Know There's Something Going On" - Solidifies the "paranoid drum song" genre.<br />
<em>Three Sides Live</em> - "Paperlate" b/w "You Might Recall" might be the apex of Genesis/Phil Collins, if not my own listening lifetime.<br />
<em>Principle of Moments</em> - some genius is sampling "In The Mood" as we speak...<br />
and, um, he also played on an Al Di Meola record in '83 and the Genesis album with "That's All," which I don't really want to talk about.<br />
<br />
Hey, maybe the guy just got tired? I sang "Against All Odds" once at Winnie's and nearly passed out, so imagine how Phil musta felt! Oh yeah, he also played at Philly Live Aid <u>and</u> Wembley Live Aid (with Zeppelin!) without the use of a teleporter. Overexposed much?<br />
<br />
I won't defend anything after 1985, so don't ask me to (with the possible exception of Stephen Bishop's horrendous <em>Bowling in Paris</em> record, which I'll gladly spin at any party I'm invited to).</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkW5IlsYMZ3C5gqhDQJccZ75WSdaIX5uxXpdtPCZuXv-UVsgs379nLlHOtP038P5FA0PVxfjjWIZk5tr2C1clY8BooOyEgmjq7jn95vvN-erloUj4qBO0MOR8X1Xol8MSnX_t5J3Ty3QIM/s1600/bish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" ida="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkW5IlsYMZ3C5gqhDQJccZ75WSdaIX5uxXpdtPCZuXv-UVsgs379nLlHOtP038P5FA0PVxfjjWIZk5tr2C1clY8BooOyEgmjq7jn95vvN-erloUj4qBO0MOR8X1Xol8MSnX_t5J3Ty3QIM/s200/bish.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This man is a billionaire.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08624544550306626967noreply@blogger.com1