Road Games (remaster)

I was looking through my unpublished drafts the other day, and I exclaimed to myself, "Hey, there's some pretty good stuff here!" One of my summer projects (along with teaching my daughter how to read and teaching my son how to solve linear equations) is to post some of these forgotten chestnuts. In some cases I might add a few sentences, but I promise not to delete anything-- no matter how incoherent it gets.

This one was originally titled "Allan Holdsworth vs. Eddie Van Halen" and was to pit Road Games against Fair Warning in a no-holds-barred battle for supremacy. I believe that Van Halen wins this one in both the rock AND jazz categories, but I quickly found that explaining my argument was much too complex for the English language, especially on two tabs of Ambien. I'm settling for a simple book report on Road Games.

Original date of draft: August 1, 2008

The early 80's were an exciting time for jazz in the music industry. Wait, didn't he mean to say the late 50's, or at least the mid-60's? You totally missed my point-- I said music industry!

Jazz fusion guys were pressing records by Warner Bros. with legitimate budgets, like 1984's Samurai Samba by the Yellowjackets or David Sanborn's Backstreet (1982). We were still years before Pat Metheny's VH-1 cool jazz empire took over with the help of Still Life (Talking) and Geffen Records. Big jazz records were being made, but the music still had an edge. It seemed that fusion could maybe score a hit record without going new age, but by going rock instead!

Enter jazz fusion journeyman Allan Holdsworth. Then bring in too-hot-for-your-road-case guitar phenomenon Eddie Van Halen, who starts citing Holdsworth as a major influence, and calls Allan "the best." Mo Ostin hears the things his label's major breadwinner's been saying, and decides to lets Holdsworth take a crack at a major label record on Warner Bros.

It seems clear that the goal of the project was to bring jazz fusion music to a much larger audience, an audience that simply never had the chance to hear such challenging music. Bring cultured music to the rockers... which is never easy.

Road Games was recorded in early 1983. Van Halen talked Mo Ostin into funding a project with some major talent, but with even more major groundbreaking to be done. Getting Holdsworth, bass phenom Jeff Berlin and Zappa prodigy Chad Wackerman on drums together sounds like a no-brainer: plug'em in and let'em play whatever the hell they want!

But WB wanted a bit more than Elegant Gypsy -- they wanted jazz fusion with rock vocals and song structure (like, verses and choruses). So the boys brought in a few singers to make this happen: Jack Bruce from Cream, and Paul Williams, who sounds a lot like Jack Bruce.

The record actually came out a bit more like an EP (and when this happens, it's always for the best), but it sure as hell came out on Warner Brothers! I remember carrying my Road Games cassette around in my pocket back then... I'd be at a party, and cats would be arguing back and forth about Geddy Lee and Bruce Harris and Billy Sheehan and sounding like jerks in a record store. I'd whip out my A.H. tape (already cued to the end of side one) during a lull in the action, and then unleash a vicious attack of fretless bass playing that made "Run to the Hills" sound like "Jack and Jill." I wasn't always the most popular guy at a party, but I did get really good at spelling "H-o-l-d-s-w-o-r-t-h" for drunk music fans.

Road Games could have made me into a visionary DJ/producer if I had the proper equipment in 1983. Well, Five Towns did have the proper equipment, but I had absolutely no idea how to use or even refer to it. Anyway, I always fantasized about putting the drum break and chorus of "Tokyo Dream" together to make a cool track on their own. I could have beat MF Doom at his own game by a dozen years if I'd understood my own concept and how to apply it. Or maybe I could've talked some of the guys down at the Long Island Drum Center into blessing the mic with some nasty Commack freestyles... we gettin' loose at the C.M.I., where niggas pay by the hour and never stay dry, or something to that effect.

Hey, I'm glad as all get out to have Road Games as a remaster. The recording simultaneously exemplifies the what could, the what is and the what should never be of 80's crossover jazz fusion, in just six songs!

Remaster Disasters II

I recently compiled a mix of Brian Eno's "vocal" albums for a musically challenged friend of mine. Of the four (yeah, there's others that could qualify but let's just go with Warm Jets, Tiger Mtn, Green World and B&AS) records, I own the Astralwerks remasters of the latter two. Haven't listened to 'em even close as much as my original copies, but they sound pretty decent on initial listens (don't even get me started on the crappy digi-pak packaging-- they come in these fucked up plastic sheaths that are absolutely impossible to open... I almost sliced my hand open with a boxcutter in a rabid dash to hear "Spider and I" one stoney night).

Yesterday I discovered a horrific glitch on the Another Green World remaster. I was half asleep on the 2 train and checking out the Eno mix I gave my buddy when I suddenly shot to attention in my seat. I had missed my stop and was at Lenox and 135th! Kidding... I jumped up because of what I heard on my headphones.

When you've heard a song nine million times and, without warning, you hear something different, it's a jarring experience. I remember hearing "For What It's Worth" by BS as a kid in my dad's car with only the left channel working, and totally freaking out. I've also thrown several fits in mastering labs when... whatever.

So "Everything Merges With the Night" comes on, and damned if the first line of the song isn't completely gone! Now, botched or altered fades on remastered CDs are fairly commonplace, but this ain't no botched or altered fade. This is an entire line (a great one, and an opening one!) missing. How the fuck? Who the fuck? What the fuck?

I'm writing a letter to Astralwerks. I wrote a letter to Atlantic Records when I was in high school about their generally shoddy work, but that didn't get me far. I might have an in this time, as I have a song on an old Astralwerks comp that I never even got a copy of. The jerks owe me big time.

So if Another Green World gets re-re-released sometime soon, thank yours truly. Oh, and listen real carefully for "Rosalie... I've been waiting all evening."

Remaster This!!!

Yes, CD remasters/reissues are a complete money-milking & fan-bilking scam, along the lines of "spring training" jerseys and school textbooks. Yes, they usually sound better. Yes, I buy 'em up like size 4 diapers.

We've been treated to re-releases with brain-melting improvements in fidelity & clarity (Van Halen, Police, AC/DC), as well as packages with fascinating liner notes & goodies (Byrds, Stones, Bowie) in the last fifteen years or so. Sometimes we're lucky enough to get great sound and great re-packaging (The Who!), or even untold riches of outtakes and alternate versions (Fleetwood Mac, Stooges) as well. And I haven't even gotten to the box sets...

But what's left?! Surely there exist releases out there in dire need of phonic and phashion makeovers...

1. Double Nickels on the Dime - The Minutemen
Not that it sounds that bad at all, but wouldn't it be worth it for just a c.h.'s worth of improvement?! This one deserves a lot more than it got from SST- not that hard to picture this one done up right.

2. Husker Du catalog
While we're at it, throw all of these bitches on the barbie!! I've already had my eardrums slit open from Zen Arcade, but let's go for complete annihilation, no?!

3. Any classic rap albums
This one's a total no-brainer. Use the Paid in Full double CD as a template if you don't get it. I mean, with all the 12" tracks and remixes out there... we could whip together 2-CD and 3-CD sets faster that you can say bozack.

4. Breaking Atoms - Main Source
This one's separate from (3) because it needs a lot more than bonus tracks and a new booklet. Sorta like saying John Merrick could've used a nose job. One of the great records ever, but the CD sounds like the mastering engineer dropped the DAT in a glass of orange juice. And we know it doesn't really sound like that. There's a Japanese import out there, but f*ck that.

5. Daylight Again - Crosby, Stills & Nash
I was ready to unleash the genius of my "Southern Cross" sample on the listening public when I made the mistake of trying to "tweak" my loops with some better source material. The remaster gives one the feeling that one's listening to a great-sounding CD being played in the next-door apartment. Atlantic's pulled some nasty tricks before (the Genesis re-up booklets), but this one came straight outta D. Crosby's bong (or possibly ass). Also one of the worst album covers of all time.

Moving Pictures (remaster)

Some heavy records have a mystical, dark quality to 'em-- Back in Black, Led Zeppelin (IV), Master of Puppets... and certainly Moving Pictures. Not that MP is really a dark record at all, but something about the cover, color and "Tom Sawyer" itself says it loud and clear: DON'T FUCK WITH ME.

Moving Pictures (1981) stands alone in any genre one chooses to place it in. Of course, I think of it as "prog-rock-pop". Or something like that. Let's put Abacab, Ghost in the Machine (both also 1981) and 90125 up there with MP as phenomenal-sounding early 80's PRP records. Besides the fact that Rush's offering is simply more consistent than the others, something much more profound distinguishes Pix: Rush could, did and still does play it live (at least the great songs from it) note for fucking note! When's the last time you saw the Phenix Horns jump up on stage to play "No Reply at All" with Phil and the boys? The Police mighta ripped up their tunes live a few times, but I guarantee it didn't sound anything like the record. And don't get me started with Yes-- Trevor Rabin would need three USB cables shoved up his arse to pull off "Owner" or "Leave It."

"Tom Sawyer" defines 80's classic rock. Period. Gritty, spacy, and tighter than all get out. Each of the boys' strengths are brought out to the nth degree, but in the right direction. It's all too easy to listen to the verse kick drum patterns and say "Oh yeah, this is pretty stock stuff-- I've heard this kinda thing lots of times..." Not before the record came out you didn't!!! I can't think of a pop song before or since that sounds like "Tom Sawyer," and that's because one doesn't exist. It's the Boba Fett of modern music.

"Red Barchetta" wins the "Stairway to Heaven" guitar store award for inspiring clumsy imitations by thousands of kids with ham-handed harmonics. It's kinda like a feel-good song, no? We probably needed one, after "Tom Sawyer" left us feeling about 7 inches tall. Not to mention, haven't we all raced back to the farm to dream with our uncles at the fireside more than a few times in our lives?

"YYZ" (called "XYZ" by countless mongoloids) finds Rush in one of their most compactly jaw-dropping moments-- I always thought of the tune as a kind of a "fuck you" to the jazz fusion community, to be honest. If guys like Weckl, Dimeola, Corea and whoever the hell else actually cared about the listener, they'd put some real effort intro constructing a tight little song like "YYZ", but they'd rather get laid and make records about gypsys and Brazil and all kinds of bullshit. The fusion cats do it to death, but they do it for themselves. Rush does it for US, goddammit.
You gotta love the legendary dueling bass and drums in the middle of the tune, where Neil reels off some gravity-defying 270 degree fills. Finally Geddy caves in: "Uncle! Uncle!" as he rolls out some kind of jazzbo jive turkey bass climb over the bar, which is immediately hacked to pieces and fed to Alex's amazing guitar solo for lunch. Yummy.
"YYZ" also wins the "Trees" drum store award for inspiring thousands of kids to buy a completely useless accessory for their drumset: the crotale. I can see the guy at Sam Ash right now, "OK Timmy, let's order the complete two-octave set of Zildjian crotales for you right now! You'll also need the custom crotale stand..." Timmy's poor father can only watch the back of his station wagon fill up with golden discs and huge boxes, while his credit card takes a tough hit and certainly not the last of its kind.

"Limelight" kinda fits the "dark" vibe of Moving Pictures, but only for the intellectual. It's a fantastic pop song with a darn dirty guitar sound and all sorts of funky cymbal chokes. Plus the legendary "One must put up barriers To keep oneself intact." I came to prefer "Fuck wit' me, I'll put a foot in yo ass." for no real reason.

That's side one, which has to be one of the most rockin' side one's you'll find just about anywhere! They didn't miss a whole lot.

After some fairly inoffensive bleeps and flutters, a keyboard sound usually reserved for Vivid Video releases is heard. The listener isn't quite sure whether he's watching a cheesy filmstrip in science class or a Christy Canyon video. Then he realizes that he's flipped over his Moving Pictures album and "The Camera Eye" is beginning. The band actually builds pretty nicely out of the silly keyboards stuff, and pushes it into a nice rock groove. Look, it's just kind of a weird song, but it really works. Back in the day, they would have made this the first song on the album, and probably even called the whole record The Camera Eye, but now we have inventions like "Tom Sawyer" to prevent such folly.

"The Camera Eye" (11:01) is supposed to be a sprawling bi-continental piece on humanity vs. civilization, ideals vs. progress, etc.. Actually, it's about tripping on acid. Listen to this:

"Head-first humanity
Pause at a light
Then flow through the streets of the city."
or
"They seem oblivious...
So light, yet endless
From a leaden sky.
The buildings are lost
In their limitless rise
My feet catch the pulse
And the purposeful stride."

Come on! Still don't believe me? Listen:
"A quality of light
Unique to every city's streets
Pavements may teem
With intense energy..."

Not to mention, right around 9:00 into the song you can barely make out Geddy saying to Alex under the music, "Hey, I think the walls are melting."
No doubt in my mind.

In all seriousness, "The Camera Eye" is notable as it marks the end of an absolutely astonishing streak by Mr.Lifeson-- seven consecutive album tracks with top-notch ass-kicking inventive guitar solos, dating back to PW's "Different Strings" (his eerie outro piece), and the third movement of "Natural Science." Obviously TS, RB, YYZ and LL have Lifeson's very best work in them (the "Tom Sawyer" solo is toootalllly gnarly!!! Really!), and I propose extending the marathon one more spot into "The Camera Eye." He's got a Fripp kinda thing which runs through Vai and then ends with an almost Knopfler-esque arpeggio bonanza. It qualifies, friend!

"Witch Hunt" is fine, but breaks no real ground amongst its trackmates here. Did we really think it would? "Vital Signs" is more of a Police-style jaggedy song, and provides a nice closing for the record. VS sort of gives us a taste of what's to come on their next proper release, in many ways. We'll explore that next time.

I love the fact that Saga and .38 Special were among the only bands thanked in the liner notes for Moving Pictures. Really, who would dare to play with them? It was usually guys like Tommy Shaw or Aldo Nova that did well, because they got on and off stage without completely humiliating themselves like Marillion and others of that ilk usually did.

Go back and check out the record jacket for Moving Pictures. You won't even have to play the album, and you'll remember everything.

rating: 5 stars

FUN FACT: The very first pressing of CD's in 1983 contained a mastering glitch. A fraction of the very first beat of "Tom Sawyer" is clipped off at the top of the song.
This happened to one of my own recorded CD's once as well. Well, my record actally started with the click of an overdriven amplifier being turned on, which made a nasty 'pop' sound. Not quite a match with the first kick drum of one of the most influential percussion compositions and performances in modern history...

Permanent Waves (remaster)

Last time I wondered aloud, "What did Rush do after they recorded "La Villa"?" and didn't come up with a whole lot. Maybe the conversation went something like this...
AL: Geddy and I have been talking about writing shorter songs, and more conventionally structured. I showed Geddy a few new synth sounds as well.
NP: Wow, eh. That matches real nicely with the more personal lyrics i've been writing. Terry's got a bit of a tighter sound on my Tama's right now.
GL: I really like this "pop" direction we're discussing. To be honest, I'd be quite happy singing parts that were pitched a bit lower anyway.
SRO: Well lads, this sounds just like the kind of record that Mercury would love to release as its first rock record of the new decade! In fact, you're tentatively scheduled to release your next album on Tuesday, January 1 of 1980!!!

So Permanent Waves was indeed released on the first day of the 80's decade. Rush didn't enter quietly, but rather with a 20-second air-raid burst of guitar flange and stop-start drum dives, introducing us to "The Spirit of Radio." The boys deliver a five-minute blast of prog-power-pop, while simultaneously inventing said genre. I could go on about cool little details within the song (Erwig Chuapchuaduah??), but let's just say it's a perfect opener for Rush's most important record. Many garage bands have tried to play it live, many more have failed (although I did play keys for a band on LI where the guitarist played the entire "Spirit" intro with one hand, while he made all sorts of offensive gestures with his right. Great way to start the show.).

"Free Will" is a landmark song on a landmark album. There aren't many classic rock radio staples where you have three guys playing at 110% for an entire 5+ minutes. I'd say "Hot For Teacher" but Mike Anthony couldn't play FW if his very own free will depended on it! Anyway, killer drum/bass fills and a positively horny guitar solo make this a very strong Top 5 of All-Time Rush contender. Geddy even pulls off the insane screaming breakdown in minute four ("Genetic blends with uncertain ends, on a fortune hunt that's far too fleet") without a hitch. "Free Will" actually works because heavy, ethics-laden lyrics need even heavier, performance-driven parts to keep them afloat. Hell, "Free Will" probably could have supported a chapter of that Hegel paperback sitting on my bookcase. If it had, maybe I would have actually understood it!

The fellas roll the bones a bit on the next track, "Jacob's Ladder." We get the feeling we're going back in time a bit, especially with Peart reeling off odd-time flams and short rolls like he's headed into Gettysburg on a three-legged horse. We keep alternating 5's and 6's until we reach our apparent destination: the Prophet Weinrib performs a Moses-like parting of the clouds overhead, allowing light to fill the region.
Lifeson and Peart follow this miracle with a new riff, but this one's in alternating 6's and 7's (yes, that's 13!). They've chosen to celebrate the breaking of the storm clouds with music that almost nobody else can perform, sing, or even dance along to. Oh well.
But seriously, Peart's playing here is absolutely breathtaking. His drum part develops slowly, almost as if he's familiarizing himself with the difficult meter being kept. He stops and stutters, then creates longer phrases, and finally lays crazy fills all over the joint. The Prophet returns for a final announcement, "The shifting shafts of shining weave the fabric of their dreams..." Fuck yeah.

That's one hell of a Side One. The flipside nearly begins even better, if that's possible. "Entre Nous" is an absolute revelation, free of the usual baggage we've come to love and carry. Three things are striking from the very first verse: Geddy's singing comfortably, Neil's playing with reserve, and Alex is squonking Holdsworth-style power chords-- the kind you usually need at least 6 fingers on your left hand to perform. The ingredients work brilliantly. Perversely, Alex skips the guitar solo, which only furthers the new pop cred of "Entre Nous."
I even had a vision of Teenage Fanclub playing this song, with harmonies and everything. Heck, I'd even go in on the Replacements taking a crack at it! It's that good.

"Different Strings" is pretty great too. Yeah, we all said we hated it back then, just like all the other "slow songs" in the catalog. This one's perfectly crafted, though. Nice job, Geddy.

They had to slip up a little, didn't they? The Spinal Tap-esque gurgling intro to "Natural Science" is a really bad sign. So are the lyrics to "I. Tide Pools." Fortunately, the guys wake up and turn up the juice for the rest of the suite. It's still kinda retarded, but I swear Neil hits a 2 or 3-minute stretch where he's killing it non-stop! He throws in an insane fill just for good measure, which you'll have to find yourself.
"III. Permanent Waves" finishes off the songcycle with an awesome guitar solo, and some really funny lyrics. I swear I sat next to a guy in high school that had "Art as expression - not as market campaigns" scrawled on the cover of his notebook. In the end, I gotta admit that "Natural Science" works despite itself. Since it's pretty much the last time they ever tried something that stupid, let's give'em a pass.

Maybe the best sounding Rush record, certainly the bravest, and probably the coolest. Also the beginning of their really great album cover designs.

rating: 5 out of 5

Fun Fact: The woman on the cover is the wife of former Blue Jay pitcher Jerry Garvin.

Hemispheres (remaster)

Rush's 1978 release Hemispheres (aka "Ass-Cheeks") puts together the final pieces of the trio's "modern" sound. Tight as a Winnipeg schoolgirl, here is a band at their performance peak. Production value would continue improving into the next decade, but it can be argued that Rush never pushed their playing further than on Hemispheres. It can also be argued that this is one of the most ridiculous album covers of all time...

As if to say "fuck you, monsieur," the boys open and close the first side with an 18-minute sequel to "Cygnus X-1." Not the wisest idea in the history of Mercury Records, but they damn near pull it off. The whole Greek-myths-in-outer-space thing wears thin quickly, but the whole thing's fairly listenable. Scotch tape and scissors could've made the thing a cozy seven or eight minutes long, but who's counting? They get a pass on sheer balls.

After sailing in and out of black holes and G-d knows what else, the weary listener is treated to the rocker "Circumstances." Ronnie James Dio woulda been proud to perform this song. Unfortunately, Neil Peart sounds like he's doing everything he can to derail the song rhythmically during the opening verses. All he has to do is rock straight through-- instead he chooses to play hide-and-seek with the damn downbeat. Why???

Have no fear, because all is very well with "The Trees," one of the most beloved Rush songs in the catalog. "The Trees" gave birth to countless useless woodblock purchases by sorry young drummers, as well as more dime-store philosophers than "Dust in the Wind". But it's kind of a perfect song, innit?

Aaaaaah... "La Villa Strangiato" (according to Greg in Oakville, Canada, this roughly translates to "The Strange Village." Thanks a million, Greg...). I'm not sure that a better Rush song exists. At least not in my world.

One might argue that "La Villa" (subtitled "An exercise in Self-Indulgence") represents an historic meeting in instrumental music: krautrock and fusion. I know I've drunkenly argued that point many, many times. The tune brilliantly fades in with a nifty little guitar mesh-pattern, accompanied only by Geddy blurps and Neil tinklings. Rhythm section rides in next (wait-- that's Geddy and Neil too!!), and then we're off to the "Strangiato Theme (part III)"!

The breakdown of "A Lerxst in Wonderland (part IV)" features Peart doing his best Bill Bruford imitation: a hiccupping hat-snare-kick kinda thing. Alex even does some nice Adrian Belew-style volume swells, but Geddy manages to avoid the Chapman Stick here. (By the way, I know exactly where each of the "movements" begin and end because I own the percussion chart to "La Villa," thank you very much. I even tried to program the drum part on a Roland 505 drum machine once-- I woulda had better luck trying to translate a Nabokov novel into Hebrew.)

Anyhoo, "La Villa" kicks some serious asscheeks. I've always wondered what the boys did after they finished that monstrous take in the studio. Did they go on a 72-hour coke-and-whore binge across the Welsh countryside? Did they immediately demand millions of dollars from Mercury Records, unrecoupable? Did they each take a giant dump in the basement?

We mortals may never know. Chances are, they hopped a plane back to Toronto and caught the rest of the Maple Leafs game with a bottle of pop and some pretzels...

rating: 3 1/2 out of 5

Fun Fact: Rush settled out of court with Raymond Scott for their ripoff of "Powerhouse" in part V of "La Villa Strangiato".

A Farewell to Kings (remaster)

1977's A Farewell to Kings has a viable candidate for "best Rush song ever" ("Xanadu"), another for "most popular Rush song ever" ("Closer to the Heart"), and two strong entries for "worst Rush song ever" ("Madrigal" and "Cygnus X-1"). And there are only 6 songs on the record.

We begin with a jolly little acoustic intro title track--one imagines dwarves and jesters hopping around a medieval courtyard... which gives way to a nice little rocker. That's just an appetizer for the colossal "Xanadu," which of course was decreed by Kubla Khan. Whatever the hell that means. Anyway, you get loads of neat percussion, volume pedals, bells, synthesizers, crazy drum fills, and a little bit of Coleridge as well. Over the top? Way over.

We all know about "Closer to the Heart," although I've always wondered exactly how ploughmen are supposed to sow a new mentality(?). One minute Peart's on the hardcore Ayn Rand tip, then he's spouting what sounds like Commie bullshit... whatever. I never really liked this song as much as everyone else.

On the other hand, "Cinderella Man"'s always been right down my alley. Neil drops some serious drum knowledge here-- mad rudiments straight outta NARD fo yo ass. He sounds like a friggin typewriter half the song.

Reissues may sound better, but bad songs stay bad. I skipped "Madrigal" like we all used to do when it first came out. Then I made the mistake of listening to "Cygnus X-1" with a hangover. Don't ever do this.

"Cygnus" is not only about a black hole, but is also the musical and creative equivalent of a black hole. Half-baked riffs and adolescent lyrical ideas are Frankenstein-ed together into a horrifying ten minute atrocity. Neil and Geddy's syncopated funk breaks are absurd, and Alex drones on long guitar repeats like he just drank a bottle of Canadian cough syrup. The whole mess ends with Geddy shrieking like a crackhead-- maybe his worst ever. As if that's not enough, the liner notes ominously read "to be continued" at the end of the lyrics.

After ending on this bad note (I wish it was just one note!), I began to question the existence of Rush in general. More exactly: What the hell am I doing listening to this garbage? Who the hell are these guys? Where the hell is the Advil?

Answer: Geddy's a total freak but a great bass player. Neil's a nerd but an insanely great drummer (duh). Alex is a great guitarist, but d___k's way too much and will require extended breaks from touring in decades to follow.

Rating: 3 out of 5 (or 4 out of 6 songs)

FUN FACT: The spaceship that Neil Peart's character rides into the black hole in "Cygnus X-1" is called the Rocinante-- Greek mythology, Steinbeck reference, or both? (or neither... maybe Cygnus X-1 is really supposed to be an enormous pussy.)

2112 (remaster)

I finally bought a copy of Rush's remastered 2112 this Christmas, waiting on a Space Mountain-like line at BestBuy. Every store should have a display of Rush reissues near the registers for $7.99 a pop! Think of all the gum and People magazines sold at supermarkets-- why not Rush CD's?

Of course, no bonus tracks here. It's hard to imagine anything extra in the world of Rush... sort of like getting a free beer at Yankee Stadium. C'mon, not even an alternate take of "Something For Nothing?" How about a demo of "Temples of Syrinx?" Not a fucking chance.

Anyway, the record still kicks ass after 30 years. Our favorite trio of Canadians were walking on thin ice after Caress of Steel (a good argument against releasing two albums in one year) back in 1975, and Mercury issued a short and simple edict: NO MORE (REALLY) LONG SONGS! I heard that Hugh Syme made his own private plea to Geddy to "take it down a notch or two," but who knows...

As we all know, the boys brought home the bacon with 2112. Still a fair amount of shrieking by Mr. Weinrib going on, but this album marks improvements on all fronts: sound, skill, songwriting and simplicity. The "2112" suite can be understood by any 14-year old with a brain (check your yearbooks!), and rocks pretty darn hard as well. Try explaining the "Fountain of Lamneth" to your stoned buddy during trig class. Hell, just try listening to it!

The fellas also made a nice move with side two's "Lessons," which begins like a weird outtake from Eat a Peach. Here's where Rush really starts to distinguish themselves from the rest of the prog pack: good pop songs that aren't necessarily hit singles. You used to get the feeling that a guy like Greg Lake or John Wetton really had to bust his ass to write that one catchy radio song on the album, and that's why he let the rest of the schmucks pick up the slack for the instrumental stuff. Rush stopped making that mistake with 2112.

"Grand Finale" kicks major Solar Federation butt with no regard for songwriting or anything else. Welcome to the NFL, boys! Your locker's down the hall next to Al DiMeola, John McLaughlin and that Jeff Beck character if he stops chasing the skirts. I even wrote a letter to Jimmy Carter back in '78 requesting that our national anthem be replaced by "Grand Finale". I suppose replacing "O Canada" would have been more appropriate, but I had no way of contacting P.M. Trudeau at the time.

Worth buying? Does Ayn Rand wear red lipstick? Of course, you idiot.

Rating: 4 out of 5

FUN FACT: An effort was made in the late 70's to "sync up" 2112 and Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory a la Dark Side of the Moon/Wizard of Oz. I've certainly never tried it, but I guess I can picture Gene Wilder hopping around to the tune of "A Passage to Bangkok"...

All The Best Cowboys Have Chinese Eyes (remaster)

A beautiful mess? Beautifully frustrating? How about "arrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh..."

Finally picked up the reissue last week (I'm saving the good ones for the winter). This could truly be called a "transitional" record, in that it got Pete from the Who-ish Empty Glass to the visionary White City at the occasional expense of the listener. We get four truly great songs out of the deal, along with a few other decent cuts and some real clunkers.

Right from the start something smells funny with Chinese Eyes. "Stop Hurting People" is one of those songs that makes classic rockers uncomfortably glance around the room like somebody farted. Then Pete barrels us over with the too-long "Sea Refuses No River" for almost six minutes, complete with corny harmonica and over-intellectual phrasing. I always thought this song could have worked on Quadrophenia, but only with The Who's muscle behind it. The Butler/Phillips rhythm section is tight here (as always), but tight like an asshole instead of a left hook.

Just as you start walking over to put on the new Van Halen record (pretend it's 1982), "Prelude" brightens things for just long enough to make you sit back down. Then we're rewarded with "Face Dances Part Two"-- one of the great singles of the 80's. Pete nails it to the wall here (and in 5/4) for all time (I mean, when was the last time you actually danced to a song in 5/4? Don't gimme that Brubeck b.s.-- that's not really dancing.). Here's the marriage of 70's rock and 80's new wave that "Let My Love Open the Door" heralded two years back (try dancing to King Crimson and you'll sprain your damn ankle).

"Exquisitely Bored" is great, but then things return to the art-swamp. "Communication" pales in comparison to its future father "Face the Face", so don't even bother with it. In fact, check out "North Country Girl" and then skip to the end. No, not the crappy bonus tracks, the real last track.

"Slit Skirts" is easily one of Pete's top 20 moments (that's saying a lot). It's Who's Next for post-punk and post-everything. You can't fucking deny it. OK, there's at least one clunker of a line in there, but who cares? I sure don't.

Rating: 3 out of 5