Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Sippin' On Some Syrup, verse 1 (Pimp C)

According to Google Analytics (whoever that is!), my "Swervin'" song translation is the most popular blog post on Lee's Steez. Literacy is alive!

If Three 6 Mafia is indeed the Chaucer of the Dirty South, then "Sippin' On Some Syrup" is its Canterbury Tales. The task of translating such a masterpiece is both arduous and exhilarating. As ol' G.C. used to say:
In Southwerk at the Tabard as I lay
Redy to wenden on my pilgrymage
To Caunterbury with ful devout corage
Now po' it up, nigga...

Three 6 Mafia f/U.G.K. - "Sippin' On Some Syrup"

Chorus:Sippin' on some sizz-urp, sip, sippin' on some, sip...
Sippin' on some sizz-urp, sip, sippin' on some, sip...
(repeat 8x)
Drinking a mixture of Tussionex, soda, and/or liquor...
Drinking a mixture of Tussionex, soda, and/or liquor... (repeat 8x)

Pimp C:

I'm trill workin' the wheel, a pimp not a simp
Keep the dope fiends higher than the Goodyear Blimp.

I'm a genuinely masculine human being and completely in control of all relationships I hold with the opposite sex, especially while operating a motor vehicle. The narcotics  sold by my syndicate of drug dealers are of such high potency that they often cause sensations of disassociation and vertigo, similar to those experienced by passengers of dirigibles, zeppelins, etc.

We eat so many shrimp, I got iodine poisoning
Fuckin' niggas make me sick with all that pinchin' and bargaining.

Our extravagant lifestyle affords us excessive arrays of appetizers, including raw shrimp and other shellfish-- occasionally our shrimp consumption leads to unnaturally high (but hardly fatal!) levels of iodine in our bloodstream. We have neither the time nor patience to deal with customers that steal from or attempt to haggle with the merchants of our drug syndicate.

You say that you a boss, I ain't believing that shit
You got the funny Geneva watch, with the Ferrari kit.

You claim to hold a position of prominence in your organization, but I haven't seen any evidence to support this. In fact, you've been spotted on numerous occasions wearing gaudy, tasteless Italian watches.

Take that monkey shit off, you embarassing us
I got tha red promethazine, tha orange and yella tuss.

Please remove the aforementioned accessories... you're misrepresenting members of your own crew and your profession as a whole! I'm currently in possession of Codiclear, Tussionex, and other hydrocodone compounds.

Hydroco-done on tha hands-free phone
Tha 84's roam on them blades, 20-inch chrome.

I'm operating a "hands-free" cellular phone, in full compliance with the Tennessee criminal code pertaining to motor vehicles. However, ingestion of the opioid hydrocodone has rendered me unable to operate my car legally. Regardless of my inebriation, my car is outfitted with 20-inch chrome Cadillac wire rims.

If you got 16, you can get a bizzerd
I'm chokin' on that doja sweet and sippin' on that sizzurp.

One can purchase a kilogram of pure, uncut cocaine for $16,000. I'm smoking marijuana and drinking a mixture of Tussionex, soda, and/or liquor.

Friday, November 5, 2010

He's baaaack...

Just when you think good ol' Isiah might disappear for good, he comes back better than ever. He's already scheming his return to the top of the Knicks "organization." Check out these (real!) quotes from his ESPN interview:

"I want to be on the float and I want to get my ring," Thomas said.
A ring around his bathtub?

"I'll put my draft evaluation record up against anyone's."

"In Toronto, Indiana and New York," Thomas said, "I've never actually gotten fired for a basketball reason."
My .456 career record as a head coach speaks for itself.

"Six or seven [NBA] teams I advise," said Thomas, who included the Knicks in that group. "I don't get paid for it."
I also advise President Obama, Dick Clark, and Santa Claus. I just don't get paid for it.

"I was below the poverty line," he said. "I swear to you I never thought I would see 20 years old."
Or 20 wins in one season!

"But I wasn't there. I wasn't her [Anucha Browne Sanders's] boss. She didn't report to me. I worked in Westchester, she worked in Manhattan. I would say hello to her at the games..."
Hello dolly!

"That's a problem with being a visionary," Thomas said. "You're way too far out, and by the time it catches up, people will hack you to death."
Hold on, are we talking about being a visionary or ODing on Lunesta?

"Chuck Daly begged me not to take the Knick job," Thomas said. "He said, 'You can't fix it. You'll probably fix it for somebody else.'"
We all begged you not to take the job!

"I do find it ironic that we all ended up here in Miami instead of us all ending up in New York," Thomas said. "But it's a four-year deal."
Who's "we?" You, Snooki and Vinny?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Knicks 120, Bulls 112

Wow, I'm actually sitting here at home and WATCHING THE KNICKS!!! I'm so happy that my aching balls don't even matter. I'm relaxing and watching the Knicks.

I was all set to watch 'em the other night, and the game was actually cancelled due to an asbestos hazard at MSG. Jeez, can these jerks do anything right? Utter ineptitude.

This is what I consider to be an ideal Knick game. They're up by 15 with less than six minutes to go... perfect!!! Chances are about 50/50 they win or blow it, which equals absolute excitement in my book. Sort of like turning on a Mets game with NYM up four runs in the 7th inning... this is gonna be good!

Shaw 'nuff, we're down to single-digit lead with about three minutes left. I got a single digit for ya, ref!

They usually win these kinds of games, but it ALWAYS goes down to the wire. But maybe things are different now... these are the no-luck no-look don't-look "new-look" Knicks we're talking about here. Definitely a new look to me-- I don't even know who some of these guys are! When Danilo Gallinari is the most famiiiar guy on the team, you know something's weird.

Well, looks like they're holding the lead. This Knick team might crawl out from under the curse of the new millenium, but they have the personality of a moving company. At least they'll win a few more games this way.