I'm back!!!

[sound of tree falling in unpopulated area]

Chuck Muncie #46

Thanks for all the well wishes on my birthday a few days ago. I worked until 11:30pm, couldn't get to sleep, and read a little bit of Denis Johnson's new novel until almost one in the morning.

Ahhhhh, 46 years. Pettitte's leaving a bad taste in my mouth (eewww) as of late, so I'll go with my true fave 46'er.

This guy provided lots of thrills back in the day. He also provided more than his share of thrills for himself, which got him locked up. Now he's out and pushing positivity to all listeners.
Not a bad role model, all things considered.

Drives Like a Dream...

I don't like this trend.

A rich guy crashes his Land Rover into some other rich people out in the Hamptons. The guy was legally drunk, and an open container of alcohol was found in his vehicle.

Hardly newsworthy, except that the jerk's "blaming" his accident on the two Ambiens he took that night. Most coverage of this and other similar incidents mention Ambien's "bizarre sedative effects" such as "sleep driving".

Are they fucking serious?! IT'S A SLEEPING PILL!!! Who in their right mind thinks they should be driving on sleeping pills?! Not to mention the guy's tanked and balancing a gin & tonic between his legs (and look at that sweater!).

These are the assholes that give perfectly legal drugs a bad name in this country (and specifically that county). What did he think-- his Land Rover would peacefully float away to safety on a light blue and yellow powder-cloud?

Driving around on even one Ambien is a hell of a lot worse than getting behind the wheel with a .05 or .06. Let's put the rolling pillheads in jail and cut the poor saps driving home on two glasses of wine a break for once.

ZZZZZZeke?

This has been a weird, weird, weird couple of days in the news.

A woman in Pittsburgh told police she was attacked and had a "B" carved into her face because she was a McCain supporter and volunteer campaigner. She alleged that the attackers were "teaching her a lesson" by etching the Barack initial into her cheek. Too bad the B is sort of, um, backwards-- as if it were self-inflicted in front of a mirror. The woman confessed to the hoax soon after the story went public, but not before both John McCain and Sarah Palin embarassingly made la charlatane their new "Joe the Plumber".

Ash the Slash was trumped by the "Man in Leno suit commits suicide" story, which conjured up the vision of a guy in a Halloween rubber Leno mask and suit blowing his brains out. I had nightmares for hours last night (also due to the weird Toyota "Saved By Zero" commercial).

But none can touch today's Isiah Thomas saga. Stories varied wildly about a 47 year-old man being picked up from Isiah's home for an apparent drug overdose this morning. Isiah spoke to reporters today and tried to pawn the incident off on his teenage daughter, saying she's "very down right now" but denied any overdose taking place. Then the 47 year-old Thomas added, "None of us are OK." Huh?

No two reports were the same on the fiasco all evening. Culprits ranged from Isiah's daughter to his son to Isiah himself-- one source simply ran the headline Isiah Thomas Dies!

Looks like Zeke took ten Lunestas late last night and passed out. Guess you can't really blame the guy, right? The medical report also rules out Eddy Curry as the victim, as EC's mass index would require a minimum of 75 Lunestas to even put a dent in his pulse.

Couple things are fer sure here:

1. If Isiah had taken ten Ambiens, he might have avoided this ugly mess. Instead of being hospitalized, he just would've woken up on the floor in the middle of an oversized chess match with an imaginary opponent in his trophy room.

2. This explains a lot about last season, like the time Isiah called a timeout with ten seconds left (down by two) and called a non-shooting play. I'm serious.

Slobb Deep release tomorrow 8/26/08

Now taking orders for "Slobb Deep" by DJ Murdafingerz... just gimme your address and I'll send you one!

Movin' on up!

Lee's Steez is finally here! MySpace was getting a little too crowded for my taste.

Thanks to all the fans that made this move possible. Big thanks to my intern Michelle, who typed pages and pages of old entries on her own time!

-Lee Mazzola

DJ BUTTAFINGERZ 1982 mix

Write me a message with your mailing address, and I'll mail you a DJ BUTTAFINGERZ "SCREWIN' UP THE OLDIES" 1982 mix CD. Absolutely free!