Karaoke 201

Last night's karaoke in Chelsea got me thinking about some more tech jargon for the casual singers out there (previously discussed here):

Broadway Joe (or Jane) - You get lots of theater rejects here in Manhattan, and they love "slumming" at karaoke bars. These types must be ridiculed and heckled mercilessly. We had some fruitcake last night singing "Lion Sleeps Tonight" complete with vocal acrobatics and an insipid, condescending smile aimed at everyone present. Not to be confused with a Ringer, a genuine talent revered and respected by all.

Good Mic/Bad Mic - Lots of places have two microphones, and one of 'em usually sucks compared to the other (too quiet, muffled, weird reverb, etc.). Best to keep an eagle eye locked on the good one to avoid shell game panic right before your song comes up.

The Mulligan - We had a few of these last night... you command the KJ to restart the track due to technical/sound difficulties or absenteeism (out for smoke, pissing, etc.). Crews are surprisingly cooperative with this.

K-Hole - Slang for a private booth, which are generally dark, stuffy, and smell like beer/vomit. Spending a few hours in a booth with less than ten people is a surefire way to induce severe depression or psychosis, especially if no women are present.

The One-Up - A nasty move where you sing another song by the same artist that someone else just sang, and you blow 'em out of the water. Nastier still is The Robbery, where you zip a song in to the KJ (avec $) before your nemesis (or friend) even finishes filling out their slip.

The Glaze - The surreal stare of the crowd up at the TV screen with the lyrics and video. Even weirder when someone mouths the words while someone else sings.

Bad Book - A songlist binder not sorted alphabetically by artist or song-- virtually impossible to find anything except songs by Justin Timberlake and John Mayer.