Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Presidential Debate 2008 II

Damn, I missed the first five minutes changing the damn cat litter. Has anyone ever developed "graylung" from inhaling litter smoke?

Sounds like all I missed was Obama telling us we're losing our pensions. Shit!

McCain looks like shit. He even bungled his pet line, "...countries that don't like us very much." Might be the most pathetic line in his arsenal-- sounds like Mr. Rogers.

My buddy Heath predicted the "bait and switch" GOP tactic long ago. Get McCain elected, watch him die, and Palin slips in the back door. We were thinking more along the lines of Newt Gingrich when we discussed it almost a year ago, but...

Wow, Barack looks great against that red floor backdrop. I love it when Biden calls him "Barack"... such a cool sounding name.

McCain can't stand up during his breaks without leaning on the chair in the back. Then again neither can I, but I'm not running for President, am I?

Did you hear that some chick was arrested for stalking Luke Walton? That's one of the weirdest things I've heard in a long time.

McCain: I'm a reformer, "reaching across the aisle", reform, reform, bipartisan, I fought this, I fought that, , drilling, I can fix this, blah, blah blah...

What if McCain falls down? Pulls a Miss America. He just exceeded his one minute limit again, which was a rule that the candidates themselves established. Keep it real, Brokaw!

Obama's going over too! Tom needs a buzzer, gong, hook, something! The candidates established the rules themselves!!!

This isn't anywhere near as fun as Biden-Palin. McCain's trying to attack Barack in his hackneyed style, but falling flat. Barack doesn't seem to be attacking at all. Goddamn hippie!

Tom's just plain pissed now. These guys have about as much regard for time restraints as a being from the fifth dimension. Brokaw just served up a facial on Barack. He should've done a Mutumbo finger-wave.

Barack's distancing himself even further from the average American-- he's speaking too clearly and sensibly about issues that really matter. Joe Six-Pack's gonna hate that kind of "smart guy" talk. He just spelled out a detailed tax plan, complete with numbers and everything. Joe Six is really gonna hate that.

McCain's really hanging in there. Scratch that-- he just marveled at battery powered cars as if he were talking about personal hovercraft machines.

McCain looks like Pauly from Darkman. He's one of the many in the film whose face-mask melts while worn by Darkman himself, and is subsequently discarded onto the pavement.
Barack's on the attack now. I only attack when I have been attacked!

Amurrica, my friends. Amurrica. I'm going to bed.

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