Pass the popcorn!

What a day for bizarre sports headlines!! A-Rod bucks the system and crawls back to New York?! Marbury responds to a $200K fine by threatening to bring down an already disgraced Isiah Thomas?! The PGA Tour is starting a super-strict drug-testing program?!

Sorry, but nothing tops Phil Jackson's postgame comment following the Laker loss in San Antonio last night:

"We call this a 'Brokeback Mountain' game, because there's so much penetration and kickouts."

Huh? What the hell is he talking about? Did I miss something?

Maybe Isiah should take a poke at some quotes like that after a hard Knick loss:

"We call this a 'Summer of Sam' game, because five or so New Yorkers were brutally murdered."

"We call this a 'Grapes of Wrath' game, because a trip to the West coast left us impoverished and humiliated."

"We call this a 'Gigli' game, because the crowd wouldn't stop booing and jeering."

"We call this an 'Into the Wild' game, because our star dropped out of sight somewhere in Arizona."

"We call this a '2001: A Space Odyssey' game, because we had absolutely no idea what the hell was going on five minutes before it ended."