Bonus bonanza

Nice job, Knicks. Lookin' like the early November team that roared to a 2-1 start to the season. They looked like they were having fun out there, even when they were rolling around on the floor or chucking the ball into the stands.

Actually, I wasn't watching the game closely at all. My buddy came over and transferred a bunch of my old ADAT master tapes onto his computer. God bless his soul.Those old ADAT machines are hilarious. These things were "state of the art" at one point. They sound like an MRI machine, and give you the feeling that you're about to watch an old VHS tape on your clunky old VCR. Wait, you are putting an old VHS tape into a clunky old VCR...

In other news, stAy-Rod has agreed to a "marketing package" that gives him $6M every time he reaches a home run plateau: 660, 714, 755, 762 and 763+. Hell, why not throw in some other bonuses into the package?

Prime Time: A-Rod gets $(p x 1000) for every "prime plateau" he hits for the next 10 years. So, at 521 HR he gets a $521,000 bonus, at 523 $523,000, at 541 $541,000, and so forth up to 761, 769, etc.He also gets a bonus for wearing the prime number 13 on his back, and for managing only 7 hits in the last 3 seasons worth of playoff games.

Art-Rod: The Yankees must continue their tradition of honoring Alex with a new piece of "art" for each of the above milestones. Maybe an enormous piece of twisted sheet metal by Richard Serra would be appropriate for 714? (just don't drop it this time!)

A-Bombed for A-Rod: Every Yankee fan gets a personal "A-Rod number" based on the last 3 digits of their social security number. If he hits a dinger corresponding with a fan's AR#, that fan drinks for free for the rest of that game (even after the 7th inning cutoff). The lucky fan(s) also automatically becomes Bud Fan of the Game. The man would never be booed again. I'll be eligible for my drunken mess of a game sometime halfway through the 2010 season or so.