Athletics 7, Yankees 0

I almost bought an Igawa shirt before the game-- thank heavens I came to my senses. My escape was the Ballpark Lanes restroom, where stingy pissers can be seen desperately wiping their hands on their pants in order to avoid tipping the weird guy at the door.

Nothing to report about the game. I bought a beer in the 3rd inning (Lite), only to be pleasantly surprised in the 6th with another beer (Foster's?). This was about as exciting as things got.

Apparently Scott Proctor burned several personal items in a small bonfire near the top of the Yankee dugout steps at the conclusion of his disastrous relief appearance today. Here's a practice I'd like to see more of. Maybe Wil Nieves can burn his batting gloves next week.

A's 7, Yanks 0 postscript

OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!!

Got home from today's drubbing and passed out on the couch. Woke up and realized I completely burned the shit out of myself at today's friggin game. No, I wasn't trying to get Scott Proctor's autograph.

I feel like the guy in the hospital that fingers Keyser Soze from his deathbed-- burnt to a crisp (ok, that's an exaggeration and I never fingered nobody...). My arms are the color of strawberry popsicles. I managed to avoid the "of course you feel like shit, honey-- you drank way too much at the Yankee game!!" look this evening but succumbed to the "of course you feel like shit, honey-- you didn't bother to use sunblock at the Yankee game!!" look instead.

I might as well've gotten drunk. At least I'd still be asleep on the couch.