Q is for Quarterflash

Yes I own this on CD.

The story of Quarterflash is one of the strangest and most tragic in rock history.  The Portland, OR outfit was big locally in the late 70s under their original Seafood Mama moniker, and became Quarterflash in 1980.  Led by Rindy Ross (vocals, saxophone) and her husband, Marv (guitar), the band went nationwide with a newly recorded version of "Harden My Heart" (a Seafood Mama staple) and their self-titled LP on Geffen.  "Heart" went to #8, the follow-up "Find Another Fool" hit #16, and the group's alliteration-fueled fortunes seemed destined for the top of the charts.

Unfortunately, this #1 came with a bullet.  Rindy Ross was mysteriously found dead in the garage of her band's road manager and accountant, Anthony Muskie.  No murder weapon was ever recovered, although stories swirled involving Muskie and husband Marv Ross as co-conspirators.  Her 1982 slaying remains unsolved.

Lost in the tragedy were the master tapes of Quarterflash's successor, which has languished in legal limbo for almost thirty years.  Next to nothing is known about the double album Coho (alternately titled "Kohoe"), as the surviving Ross has possession of the only known session recordings.  Anecdotal reports generally describe the record as brilliant, and similar to Tusk in style and sound.  The reformed touring version of Quarterflash, which features replacement singer and sax player Melinda Ross (who married Marv Ross in 1985), has maintained marginal success since the scandal and has yet to perform a single track from the Coho sessions.

OK, this story is complete bullshit... but I did in fact have a crazy dream about Quarterflash once.  I really do like their first record, but I guess it ends there.

So I've been using a fucking cane for over a month now.  After a few awkward days with the cane, I formed the following thoughts:

1) I'm gonna lose this thing in no time.  I'm terrible with umbrellas, something like -73 all time.  You'd think a cane would be really easy to just prop up when you're not using it, but it ain't.  They fall on the subway all the time, skitter down the aisle on the bus, and are absolute nightmares in public rest rooms.  Plus my kids love to run around the house with it.
2) I'm now walking the streets of New York with a weapon at all times.  My cane's lightweight, but I'm pretty sure I could fuck up a smartmouth kid or a slenderly built woman with it.  At worst, I can do some real damage to someone's windpipe before I'm arrested or beaten to a pulp.
3) This thing's really gonna get dirty.  It's being literally dragged through the streets of a filthy city.  Am I supposed to clean it when I get home?  Run it under a hose?  Nobody tells you things like this when you become disabled.

Oh yeah, any ideas about feeling sort of cool in an aristocratic kind of way are total bullshit.  Anyone that uses a cane without a real reason is an idiot, and that goes for Mr. Peanut, Pete Nice, and all the Droogs.

You'd have to be insane to not love the insanely great tapes of DJ Q-Bert.  I have the Demolition Pumpkin Squeeze Music one on CD, and I do in fact love it.

I'm not quite as crazy about Quasimodo, although I really do like the tracks (and Madlib, etc.).  I can't stand the vocals, which is probably why I strongly prefer the instrumental version of The Unseen.

I love the music and vocals of Quasi, who I know I saw at Brownie's and probably a few other places I can't remember.  A truly unique band.  Unfortunately, my advance copy of Featuring "Birds" has some kind of dark epoxy-like resin stuck to the bottom of it-- four of its tracks were deemed unimportable by iTunes.  Making matters worse, the song "Birds" was one of the damaged tracks, so I guess the whole concept of the album is shot.

I rarely listen to my Queens of the Stone Age CDs, and I can't seem to find any of my Queen CDs.  I probably had three, and I sure did like them.  Please advise if you borrowed or bought any Queen CDs from me.

Oh yeah, I once won a bet with a 13-year-old kid by successfully whistling the bridge to "Oochie Wally" by QB's Finest.  I would probably be in jail if I actually recited the lyrics to the child, but whistling was just fine.