Yankees 5, Mets 3

As you've probably noticed, I haven't been posting much lately. THAT'S BECAUSE I'M FUCKING BUSY!!!!!!!!!! It's enough to find time to do all the shit I have to do-- to then write about it is ridiculous. It's like doing everything twice! It's like doing everything twice!

But all's good. Today was especially good... the Mz and I actually went to a game together! We even made a clean getaway from Jr. & Li'l Mz, but it wasn't easy. Our third string babysitter (funny, since she's an utter pro) showed up fifteen minutes early, which meant Jr. got fifteen extra minutes to scream bloody murder about us leaving. Miraculously, we slipped out the front door without things getting even worse.

I was already suffering from exhaustion when we got to the Stadium, evidenced by my bizarre and erratic behavior (purchased Premio sausage, refused offer of free beer from wife, considered taking dump in men's room, etc.). I hunkered down in our seats (which I officially hate) for at least four consecutive innings, which is kind of a lot for me. Not that I had a choice; our row was littered with dozens of half-full (and half-empty) sodas and beers, cardboard containers, and countless peanut shells, as well as the assholes that consumed said items. Nobody ever gets up from their seats in our row. Nobody. Ever. Every time we want to get a good beer or take a piss it's like we're getting up during the second hour of Schindler's List... groans, dirty looks, and rolled eyeballs.

Well, the game was really fun. Mz even got a little buzz going. Came home to a quiet apartment with one napping and the other smiling. Nice.

Jeez, I never posted about my Legends Suite seats two weeks ago. I mean, I did write something but never finished it. I have a ton of unfinished drafts right now, some of which are pretty good. Anyway, the whole thing was amazing. The only points of reference I was able to articulate in my original draft were "greatest Bar Mitzvah ever," "George Costanza's Forbidden City episode," and "like the dinner scenes in Defending Your Life without the white robes..." You get the picture.

In case you're an idiot you have no idea what I'm talking about, Legends Suite means you're sitting a few rows from the dugout, and you have access to unlimited food and drinks (no booze) for the entire game. People are serving you left and right-- a guy even walked right over and gave me a thing of sunblock right at the beginning of the game (which I characteristically slathered on myself sloppily and unevenly, resulting in pattern-burns and painful red patches all over the backs of my hands). The seats are worth just about any price (not that I paid for 'em!) you're asked to pay.

So I've been to four games this year, and the Yanks have won 'em all.