Dirty Trick

So I'm doing a little late night shopping on the American Express Membership Rewards page a few weeks ago, and I happen across a rather intriguing item: a Yankee Stadium "Dirt Plaque."

I always wanted one of those back when they were selling everything they could think of from gum-encrusted seats to urinal cakes. You know, a little memento from the old Stadium... what's wrong with that?

I slapped down about 5,000 points for two Dirt Plaques (one for me, one for my pops), and went to bed. Got some kind of confirmation the next morning, and everything seemed cool. When my items arrived a few days later, all still seemed OK (although 4" by 6" really is kinda small).

Wouldja believe the dirt is from the NEW Yankee Stadium?!!! I guess I missed the fine print about "Inaugural Season" or I don't know what the hell "inaugural" means, because I'm stuck with fucking dirt I can scrape off my shoe any Saturday afternoon for the rest of my life! I want Guidry and Reggie dirt-- not Brett Gardner dirt!

You really can't be too careful these days.