Seemed like a good time to throw together a quick top ten list:
TOP TEN 40 oz. MALT LIQUORS
1. Colt 45
G. Heileman, 5.9% alc.
The undisputed king of the parking lot. I lost a bet once (Monday Night Football, I believe) and had to drink two 64 oz. Colts in 20 minutes. I ended sprinting and shrieking across my college campus (not streaking, but it was actually "the Quad") in the middle of the night. I was supposedly studying for a French final exam and was cold busted by my girlfriend at the time, who actually heard me from inside her dorm room at least 200 yards away.
2. Midnight Dragon ("Special Reserve")
G. Heileman, unknown alc.%
One of the great mysteries of the malt liquor pantheon. The label contains a Latin inscription, which a friend translated as "To sip and tip is hip..." We once put out an ivy fire with about a dozen Dragons.
3. Olde English "800"
Miller, 5.9% alc.
Immortalized by Eazy-E and countless others. Probably the coolest beverage on Earth.
4. Crazy Horse
City Brewing, 5.9% alc.
The bottle alone inspires sheer terror. Jager-esque myths surround this brew, as well as P.C. watchdogs pissed off about the hatchets and scalps that used to adorn the label. I was whooping it up with a few of these one night, blind drunk-- one of my roommates just shook his head and muttered, "Strychnine... he's drinking fucking strychnine..."
5. St. Ides
Pabst, 8.0% alc. (high gravity)
As Guru once said, "This shit'll blow your mind, son." I dismissed St. Ides drinkers as wannabes back in the day, for reasons unknown then and now.
6. Country Club
G. Heileman, 5.7% alc.
My vote for "worst malt liquor of all time." I drank one on Houston St. one time and puked all over the curb. I guess it's a classic, but Jesus!
7. Laser
Falstaff, 5.9% alc.
I only ever bought these as a joke-- kinda like buying a really raunchy mag along with your tank of gas. Great label.
8. Magnum
Miller, 5.9% alc.
(see Laser, but without the great label)
9. King Cobra
Annheuser-Busch, 5.9% alc.
Bud's foray into the netherworlds... getting pulled over with one of these in your lap just might land you in the slammer.
10. Colt Ice, Cool Colt
G. Heileman, 7.5 % alc., unknown
Twin abominations.
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3 comments:
40 40s by 40??!! a challenge
What kind of hops do they use in these malt beverages?
Epulis Accumbere Divum - from the first book of the Aeneid - meaning to recline and dine at the divine feast. If I remember correctly (I mean, we were drinking the Dragon and with Pete nonetheless, no?), the pre-fire dispute was "To recline and dine is divine" vs. "To tip and sip is hip". I don't really remember who won. I just remember throwing flaming paper airplanes drunkenly crafted out of outdated Rhombus flyers and almost setting Raymond House on fire... Speaking of which, what ever happened to that badass King Cobra hat we had?
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