Yankees 7, Orioles 3

Too much. Way too much.

Sunday night's big finish at Yankee Stadium was completely overwhelming on every possible level. At least five hundred things happened that each merit their own story. I'll try to focus on twenty or so.

Again, a big F-you to ESPN for forcing the game to start well after 8:00 at night. Phil Mushnick got this one right (for a change!) in the Post today-- this was a complete disgrace. No child (and very few adults) could possibly sit through that six hour ordeal and feel good about it. It just plain sucks.

So I got to our seats at exactly 6:50, which was the supposed time of the unveiling of the "Yankee Artifact". That's not entirely true, as I stupidly sat in the wrong seats for about ten minutes. Either way, the Artifact was about fifteen minutes late and a bit boring. They draped an enormous pennant from 1922 over the black bleachers, and then covered it up. Sentinels were posted on either side of the giant pennant, in case a posse of drunken fans tried to steal it or puke on it. No one dared.

John Sterling and Michael Kay reunited to share emcee duties for the opening ceremonies. They were about as happy to see each other as a snake and a mongoose. I won't say they did a bad job, but the event was paced so poorly at one point that Babe Ruth's introduction on the Diamondvision was completely missed by the crowd. The video screen also gave the impression that Joe DiMaggio played for the 1923 Yankees.

The endless catalogueing of Yankee greats created a bizarre game within a game: which players were worthy of standing ovations and which weren't. Almost no one in our section stood the whole time, so we ended up standing up and sitting down over and over and over... at least forty or fifty times. I felt like a Whack-a-Mole.

The game itself was sort of exciting. Pettitte stunk, which was sort of expected. He looked tired as hell. If he was even one-tenth as tired as I was by 8:30, it's a miracle he could even reach home plate.

The far-and-away highlight of the night was served up by our beer guy in section 32. We bought two Coors Lights, and the guy just gave us the cans. He didn't even pour the beers in plastic cups! It was almost like Derek Jeter winking and flipping a ball into our laps-- it felt that special. I can't wait to tell my kids about it when they get a little older.

Things kinda tailed off after our beercan zenith. There was nothing at all to steal, unless you count toilet paper. Jeter's little speech at the end of the game was pretty cool. The whole night was pretty cool, but just way too much to take in at once. And way too long.